One can't say enough about the disgraceful state of our children's education system, particularly its pronounced contempt for biology and the other life sciences. It's as if we decided as a society to to fill the heads of a generation of kids with only the most useless and asinine facts, figures and images rather than what actually matters: Once, a long time ago, it was really, really important that kids knew what Japanese movie monsters looked like on the inside.Because people in this world used to give a damn, a book called Kaijū-Kaijin Daizenshū was published in the 1970s, and it contained brilliantly detailed anatomical drawings of guts. Not just any guts, but the guts of one of Japan's most eminent movie monsters, Gamera, the giant turtle who shot fire out of the holes in his shell and flew around like a flying saucer while inexplicably befriending children. Along with Gamera, the book, published by Keibunsha, includes equally impressive 1970s-science-textbook-style drawings of the turtle's memorable enemies, including Guiron, Barugon, Viras and Jiger.


According to Pink Tentacle, the Japanese text reveals the following facts about Gamera's entrails:

Gamera's features include infrared eyes with night vision, arms that can lift 50,000 tons, an organ for producing the flames he shoots from his hands, electrical spikes on his back, poison claws, sac-like organs for storing lava, coal, oil and uranium, balloon-like organs that blast jets of air out through the feet, and a tail of elastic cartilage that can deliver a powerful punch.


While this material is extremely fascinating, we're forced to point out that it conflicts greatly with a model of Gamera's inner workings that we know will constructed in the not too distant future by a space-faring janitor and two robots:

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