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When Batman Gets Cuddly: Batman Plushies

There are hundreds of Batman figurines, Batman sculptures, Batman toys and Batman action figures out there, but sometimes in the hard world of sculpted abs and angry plastic scowls, you just want to see the softer side of Bats, and Batman plushies are a great way to do it. Some of them are homemade, some modified, and some store bought, but one thing applies to all of them, regardless of genre or origin: the Uncanny Valley rule of Masahiro Mori is in full effect.

The closer a bat plushie comes to resembling an actual human being, the more terrible it becomes to looks upon it. Conversely,the more abstract the toy is, the better its owner will sleep at night.

Let’s start at the comforting end of the scale, with an abstract batfigure.

Awwwwww. Look at that little guy! He’s pretty much Bat2d2; completely endearing and not at all creepy.

The next level is a little more humanoid in appearance.

While still very cute, they don’t inspire the same immediate adoration as the Bat2d2. Sure, the third one has a cute little blue nose and blue eyebrows, but the second has scary black shark eyes and the first looks a little too much like Cartman from South Park. Still, since their center of gravity is up in their heads, they probably wouldn’t be able to do much damage even if one were somehow possessed with an evil spirit. Most importantly, all of them are still a good bit away from the Uncanny Valley.

Once the proportions get within the range of actual humanity, some more of the cuteness drops away. I would say that, despite the snarl, the second one still has the adorability edge here, both because it’s still fairly stylized and because I’m not entirely certain of where the person’s hand is going in the first one. Neither, though, is as freaky as what’s coming up next.

Even if this one weren’t posed like it’s at its own funeral, it would be creepy as hell. It’s only the chin that saves this toy from being the scariest thing in the world. Well, that and the fact that it’s nowhere near actual size. But why would anyone make a giant Bat Plush–

Oh hell no! Who would do that to innocent fabric? As you can see, this is where things get unbearable. The size, the proportion, and the defined abs all make you want to run for the Joker –

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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