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100 Character Names In The Model Of Blackagar Boltagon.

Marvel Comics
Marvel Comics

 

Marvel recently announced that actor Anson Mount has been cast in the largely mute role of Black Bolt in the Inhumans TV show, debuting later this year on ABC. As king of the secretive superhuman race, and as the wielder of a voice that can level cities, Black Bolt is one of the most powerful characters in the Marvel Universe, able to hold his own against tough guys like Hulk, Thor, and even Thanos. He also boasts the slickest superhero costume Jack Kirby ever designed.

But none of that is the best thing about Black Bolt. The best thing about Black Bolt is that his real name is Blackagar Boltagon.

That kooky name, presumably retrofitted onto the character as if to justify his non-sequitur codename, is one of the most ridiculous ideas ever dreamed up in superhero comics. In fact it’s the sort of detail that can divide comics fans between those who think the name is so stupid that it destroys all suspension of disbelief, and those who think it’s blissfully, transcendently, wonderfully stupid. After all, superheroes aren’t meant to be conventional.

It seems unlikely that¬†ABC will ever be bold enough to use the name Blackagar Boltagon in live action, but we’re keeping our fingers crossed that they do! In fact, we’re such fans of the name that we thought we’d apply its basic principles to some other great comics characters to see how it sits on them.

Yes, we did this 100 times. And we still don’t think it gets old.

 

Silvergar Surfergon
Squirrelgar Girlagon
Auntagar Mayagon
Batagar Managon
Managar Batagon
Brothergar Voodoogon
Mistergar Sinistergon
Ghostagar Ridergon
Spidergar Gwenagon
Gwenagar Poolagon
Howardagar the Duckagon
D-gar Managon
Adamagar Warlockagon
Hellagar Boyagon
Dickagar Tracygon
Mistergar Fantasticagon
Littlegar Lulugon
Doctorgar Strangeagon
Moonagar Dragonagon
Moonagar Boyagon
Devilgar Dinosauragon
Gargar Fieldagon
Songagar Birdagon
Msagar Marvelagon
Daregar Devilagon
Foggygar Nelsonagon
Xagar 23agon
Judgegar Dreddagon
Redagar Tornadogon
Greenagar Arrowagon
Longagar Shotagon
Deadagar Shotagon
Incrediblegar Hulkagon
Shegar Hulkagon

 

Marvel Comics
Marvel Comics

 

Jagar Jonahgon Jameson
Doctorgar Bongagon
Godagar Zillagon
Wildagar Dogagon
Kryptogar the Superdogagon
Irongar Heartagon
Snowagar Flameagon
Xemnugar the Titanagon
Redagar Ravenagon
Maximusagar the Madagon
Jugagar Headagon
Harleygar Quinnagon
Draxagar the Destoyeragon
Waragar Machineagon
Nightagar Wingagon
Nightagar Thrasheragon
Nightagar Nurseagon
Managar Wolfagon
Madagar Thinkeragon
Rubygar Thursdayagon
Martianagar Manhunteragon
Deadagar Poolagon
Sabrinagar the Teenage Witchagon
Doctorgar Doomagon
Loisagar Laneagon
Nitegar Owlagon
Phantomgar Strangergon
Romagar Spaceknightagon
Honeyagar Lemonagon
Theagar Thingagon
Swampagar Thingagon
Managar Thingagon
Thorgar Odinsonagon

 

Marvel Comics
Marvel Comics

 

Firegar Stormagon
Redagar Beeagon
Pipagar the Trollagon
Rocketagar Raccoonagon
Biagar Beastagon
Namoragar the Submarineragon
Crimsonagar Foxagon
Crimsonagar Cowlagon
Crimsonagar Commandogon
Crimsonagar Avengeragon
Crimsonagar Dynamogon
Arsegar Facegon
Dogagar Welderagon
Matteragar Eateragon Lad
Captainagar Britainagon
Captainagar Boomerangagon
Monarkagar Starstalkeragon
Klarionagar the Witchboyagon
Darkagar Hawkagon
Ka-agar Zaragon
Flagagar Smasheragon
Kingagar Sharkagon
Angaragar the Screameragon
Poisonagar Ivygon
Shattergar Staragon
Finagar Fangagon Foom
Tawkyagar Tawnyagon
Shrinkingar Violetagon
Gorillagar Groddagon
Charliegar Brownagon
Googamagar Son of Goomagon
Mistergar Mxyzptlkagon
Lockagar Jawagon

 

You’re welcome.

 

Marvel Comics
Marvel Comics

 

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