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Blistering Barnacles! Tintin on the Big Screen!

Leonardo DiCaprioDunno how I missed this one (actually I do, I was on vacation and having wi-fi problems), but did anyone see the Tintin movie article on AOL Money & Finance? I briefly got all excited, envisioning an early-1980s Spielberg spectacle along the lines of Raiders of the Lost Ark, adapting Flight 714 or Tintin in Tibet, with fantastic location shots and killer action. But then reality came crashing in….

The script will apparently be some kind of dark post X-Files number that combines the plot of The Calculus Affair with Destination: Moon and Explorers on the Moon. Leonardo DiCaprio as Tintin–okay. John Rhys-Davies as Captain Haddock–I can live with that. David Hyde-Pierce as the voice of Snowy, the dog–well….

But then it gets wonky. Using one actor (as yet unnamed) to play both Thompson twins, seems unnecessary, except to flex a little CG muscle. But I really think they could have found a human to play Professor Calculus, instead of Spielberg’s hare-brained plan to use CG and old film of Charlie Chaplin.

On top of all that, Angelina Jolie is reportedly in the running to play Tintin’s love interest. Love interest? Are you kidding me? What’s next, ewoks? Actually it’s much much worse. Check out this bit of test footage.

Requests for comments from Steven Spielberg and DreamWorks went unanswered as of press time on April 1.

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