Welcome to Cast Party, the feature that imagines a world with even more live action comic book adaptations than we currently have, and comes up with arguably the best casting suggestions you’re ever going to find for the movies and shows we wish could exist. Today, we're looking at Street Angel, the modern indie classic by Jim Rugg and Brian Maruca.

The tone of Street Angel is a delicate balance of real action, human suffering, and utter absurdity. I'd like to see it directed by Gregg Araki, who made a name for himself making weirdo movies about street kids in the 90's, and proved he can still get pretty weird not long ago with Kaboom.

This isn't a movie that should have flashy special effects. If anything, most of the budget ought to go to stunt performers. The story demands a cast of thousands of ninjas, conquistadors, pirates, and SWAT guys, none of whom stand a chance against one skinny little girl on a skateboard.

  • Hana Hayes as Street Angel

    Jim Rugg/Fox

    Hayes is currently playing a pretty standard teen daughter role on The Grinder, but she was previously best know as Sarah in The Last of Us. You have to imagine her with much dirtier hair, but I think she has a lot of potential for this part.

  • Keegan Michael Key as the Bald Eagle

    Jim Rugg/Comedy Central

    I struggle not to cast Key in some role every single week, but in this case I just can't imagine anyone else finding the humor and attitude in the Bald Eagle.

  • Paul F. Tompkins as the Mayor

    Jim Rugg/Comedy Central

    The mayor of Angel City as is corrupt as his town, but he has a really good mustache.

  • Lucy Hale as the Mayor's Daughter

    Jim Rugg/Disney

    Hale always reminds me of a perfectly dressed little doll, which is basically the look you want for the Mayor's spoiled daughter.

  • Bryan Cranston as Dr. Pangea

    Jim Rugg/AMC

    Okay, so casting Cranston as an evil scientist isn't exactly groundbreaking, but at least he'd get to have a little more fun.

  • Blue Demon Jr as Inti

    Jim Rugg/El Rey

    The Incan Sun God appears in the form of a luchador with a suit and a cane, so an actual aging luchador seems ideal for the part. And I think we all know that any movie is better with a luchador.

  • Oscar Isaac as Captain Cortez

    Jim Rugg/DNA Films

    Let me tell you something. Sooner or later, Oscar Isaac is going to play a pirate captain, and he's going to be amazing at it.

  • Domhnall Gleeson as Cosmick

    Jim Rugg/DNA Films

    Similarly, Gleeson was made to play an Irish astronaut, if only because he's an Irish actor who appears in sci fi films.

  • Richard Roundtree as Afrodisiac

    Jim Rugg/BET

    Afrodisiac is a hero of the past who has his own comic, but appears as an older man in Street Angel. The nature of his character makes stunt casting seem like a plus, so Roundtree's obviously the way to go.