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Ask Chris #208: Worlds Will Live, Worlds Will Die, And ‘Crisis On Infinite Earths’ Is Basically A Mess

Ask Chris art by Erica Henderson

Q: I was reading your column about New Teen Titans where you said Crisis on Infinite Earths was a mess, but a topic for another time. Care to explain now? -- @jeremyliveshere

A: The one thing you can't say about Crisis on Infinite Earths is that it didn't deliver on its promise. In a time when "event" comics were still in their infancy, Crisis came out of the gate promising to be the biggest thing that had ever or would ever hit comics, and looking back on it from almost thirty years later, it's hard not to admit that even with a comic rolling out every six months like clockwork that promises to change everything forever, it's still the one that actually did it. Worlds did live, worlds did die, and nothing actually was the same again.

It just also happens to be a story that's a complete friggin' mess.

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Rachel & Miles X-Plain The X-Men: The Brood They Carried

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Welcome back to Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men, a weekly podcast in which X-Perts Rachel Edidin and Miles Stokes explore the ins, outs, and retcons of fifty years of Marvel’s greatest superhero soap opera!

This week: Claremont levels up; the Brood are legitimately scary; Colossus is an ethical dude; Nightcrawler and Wolverine share beers in the face of certain death; Storm turns into a space whale; we are Carol Corps for life; New Mutants are really into Magnum, P.I.; Kitty meets a dragon; and Xavier dies (again).

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Learn To Make Friendship Bracelets (And Survive Zombies) In ‘Lumberjanes’ #5

Lumberjanes #5, Boom! Studios

You're all reading Noelle Stevenson, Grace Ellis and Brooke Allen's Lumberjanes already, right? I mean, of course you are, we've been telling you how great it is since January, and in that time, the action, mystery and friendship have made it one of our favorite comics on the stands. So really, it's not like you need a preview to know that you're going to want to pick up the fifth issue when it hits the stands next week.

But, on the off chance that you want to know what you're in for, we've got good news in the form of an exclusive peek at Lumberjanes #5, with bad dreams and hints at the mystery of the boys across the lake. So get out your yarn and get ready, because it's time to make some friendship bracelets.

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Original Spin 7: Watch This: Space! [Marvel Original Sin Recap]

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It's the penultimate edition of Original Spin, our exclusive beside-the-scenes examin-xploratio-tainment of Marvel's big summer crossover event, That One Before Axis, by Jason Aaron and Mike Deodato. Yes, that's right, it's the big crossover event Marvel has kind of already forgotten about because it's so busy hyping up the next crossover event! (Though Marvel hasn't quite got around to telling us what that next event is about. Something something Bizarro Red Skull Onslaught? Buy the book, kids! It has Wolverine in... oh wait no.)

Yes, Marvel has already moved on to the next thing, but we at ComicsAlliance are still here, dutifully and patiently waiting for this event to finish. Sure, this recap is a week late, but I said we're dutiful, not quick. In this issue, we find out once and for all who killed the Watcher! Mmmaybe. Maybe not. I'm not really clear on that. Red Skulls are Onslaughts now; everything is crazy. Spoilers follow!

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‘Delinquents’ #1 Features Hobo Kings, Exploding Princesses, Maps Tattooed On Butts – Why Are Other Comics Even Trying This Week?

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Ever since they were relaunched by Valiant Entertainment, Archer and Armstrong and Quantum and Woody have been two of my favorite books on the market, and it's no stretch to say that it's because they take a very similar approach to a classic superhero trope. They're both the stories of mismatched pairs, buddy comedies that throw in strange conspiracies, bizarre mysteries and wanton destruction into a blender and end up with a smoothie made of highly enjoyable comics. So naturally, it was only a matter of time before they joined forces to form a mismatched pair of mismatched pairs, which is exactly what happens in this week's first issue of The Delinquents.

And as you might expect, it gets pretty weird. Like, "mysterious treasure map made from the skin of a hobo's ass" weird.

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Bizarro Back Issues: Kamandi Fights For The Mob! (1979)

Brave and the Bold #157

This week sees the start of DC Comics' big The Multiversity event series, and if the related books on sale over at ComiXology -- ostensibly to get everyone up to speed -- are anything to go by, then that thing's going to be chock full of weirdos. Seriously, I already knew they were going to be throwing Captain Carrot in there, and for some reason people can't get enough of that one story where Batman becomes a Dracula, but there are some deep cuts in there, like that one Chuck Dixon comic where the Justice League are all cowboys, and this weird thing from the '90s called Kingdom Come, where Superman fights Cable.

And then there's Kamandi.

But should Kamandi start crossing over into the main DC Universe, it won't be the first time. For that, you have to go back to Bob Haney and Jim Aparo's Brave and the Bold #157, for a story where Kamandi was sent back in time, and ended up being brainwashed, made invulnerable, poisoned with snake venom, joining up with the mob and punching Batman in the face. It... It's a weird one.

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X-Men Episode Guide 5×01: The Phalanx Covenant, Part 1

X-Men 5x01: The Phalanx Covenant

The early ’90s were spoiled for choice when it came to comic book adaptations. Not only was Batman: The Animated Series on the air, but X-Men led Marvel’s push to get on the small screen, diving right into the often convoluted continuity of everyone’s favorite mutants, luring in a generation of fans, and paving the way for cartoons to follow. That’s why we’ve set out to review every single episode of the ’90s X-Men animated series.

This week, we're into the final season... but we've got to make it through the Phalanx Covenant first.

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‘Teen Titans Go!’ Invokes Schoolhouse Rock To Explain Human Metaphors To Starfire [Video]

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Starfire has a problem. Thanks to her alien upbringing and her unfamiliarity with the intricacies of Earth languages, she has a hard time communicating with her friends, who are always using the metaphors. She tends to be a little more literal, and that's making her feel a little "uncool" around her "teen" "pals."

Fortunately, this week's episode of Teen Titans GO!, "Knowledge," finds Raven willing to help, with the show going into full-on Schoolhouse Rock mode for a song about how to spice up her conversations, and it is amazing.

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Marvel Says ‘F*ck It’, Releases Best Part Of ‘Guardians Of The Galaxy’ Online [Video]

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Because it's been one of the grimmest weeks in recent memory, let's all take a deep breath and enjoy the best scene from 'Guardians of the Galaxy.

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Filed Under: , Category: Humor, Marvel, Movies, Video

Rachel & Miles X-Plain The X-Men: Acorns And Swords

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In which we continue our delve into the eldritch end of the X-Universe, Illyana Rasputin has a rough childhood even by X-Men standards, Kitty Pryde is a Niven fan, Limbo is way metal, Vincent Price is our Belasco, and Rachel and Miles have feelings about female friendships in Claremont's X-Men.

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