Chiron Global Unveils Sporting Suit Of High Tech Combat Armor, Rob Liefeld’s Dreams Are One Step Closer To Reality [Video]
It’s been a while, but one of ComicsAlliance’s primary goals has always been to chronicle the many ways in which our world is becoming more like the work visionary comic book creator/prophet Rob Liefeld. It’s happening, folks, and the sooner we all accept that, the better off we’re all going to be. I’m not sure if anything will ever top the bayonet attachment that lets you mount a gun on another gun, but if anything comes close, it’s going to be a high tech, lightweight suit of armor designed for the exclusive purpose of letting people hit each other with sticks.
This, my friends, is exactly what we’re getting from Sydney, Astralia’s Chiron Global and their latest innovation, the Unified Weapons Master armor. Meant for full-contact martial arts and weaponry battles, the armor can take a punch from a Muay Thai master or shatter an Eskrima stick upside the head with no ill effect to the wearer. It’s actually pretty cool, as evidenced by the video below.
Also, this combat is apparently meant to take place in dimly lit dungeons where dudes are constantly Wilhelm Screaming in the background, which is a pretty bad sign for a new sport, but definitely handy if you’re planning on hitting the streets of Gotham City. Or Seattle, if Phoenix Jones gets one.
Let’s be real, though: Armor that makes its wearer impervious to martial arts is basically asking to fall into the wrong hands and dominante the world of martial arts. Seriously, if I was a sensei, I’d be checking out my classes right now for anyone who looks like they might become a plucky protagonist and doing my absolute best to shuffle them off to some other instructor before I was killed to motivate them to seek revenge. Alternately, if I was a student of the martial arts and I overheard my master mentioning anything about a forbidden ultimate technique that I wasn’t ready for, I’d make sure to say my goodbyes to them right then and there before a dude who looked like a robot kicked through the door of the dojo and started throwing out heart punches.
Either way, it’s a pretty cool bit of technology, especially since it’s meant to be responsive enough to electronically record hits. Check out more at the UWM YouTube page, and if your grandpa has ever mentioned that he once battled the Wu Tang “in the old days,” make sure he’s got his affairs in order now.