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‘Dilbert’ Creator Scott Adams Announces He’s Running For President

Even though it’s a solid year away, the 2012 Presidential Campaign is already heating up, and with it, the same complaints about our electoral system that crop up every four years. Voters often say that they wish there was a viable candidate outside of the traditional two-party system, someone who could come in and shake things up so that we’re not necessarily limited to the same two choices.

This time, however, there’s a difference. One man has heard the call, America. One man is willing to step outside the established system: Dilbert creator Scott Adams has announced his candidacy for president, running as an independent on the platform of “managers are totally dumb, am I right?” And as unlikely as it seems, we here at ComicsAlliance think he’s a totally viable candidate.For one thing, we already know that Adams is decidedly Pro-America!

And for another, unlike some candidates, Adams already has a level of transparency to his campaign that other candidates simply lack. And it’s not just that he’s outlined his entire strategy for running the country in his announcement, it’s that we’ve already seen exactly how he thinks on some of the most crucial issues of the day. And because he’s been so public about things, he’s already gotten the scandal out of the way on hot-button issues!

For example, Adams didn’t need to include his thoughts on a controversial subject like equal rights for women, because we already know that he thinks of women asking to be treated equally as being exactly like the mentally handicapped punching people or selfish children shrieking for candy!

And if you’re tired of candidates being plagued by sex scandals, Adams already has that one taken care of, too: He’s also gone on record with his extremely convincing belief that men have a natural, biologically driven instinct to rape, so even if any scandals do come to light, he’s already got a built-in bulletproof defense. It’s called biology, suckers. Look into it.

Even more importantly than those, however, Adams brings something to the table that addresses one of the most common problems faced by an independent candidate. With the way the American electoral system is set up, a lot of voters are reluctant to cast their vote outside of the existing two-party majorities, because they fear that the numbers just aren’t there to support them and they don’t want to throw their votes away. With Adams, however, that’s not even an issue: He can drum up all the support he needs just by pretending to be his own supporters and casting all the votes he needs himself:

It’s a foolproof plan to turn the existing political process on its ear. But what else would you expect from a certified genius?

Admittedly, there are some people who view the announcement as satire rather than as a genuine entry into the political arena, and even Adams himself has some tongue-in-cheek references to his status as a jokester with “a history of public pranks.” That might be true, but I don’t think this is one of them. I think that Adams is being honest and up front with the American people, and that he’s absolutely 100% serious about his candidacy for president. I don’t think it’s a joke at all.

I mean, come on: When was the last time Scott Adams did anything funny?

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