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End of the Week Explosion #13

Atomic mushroom cloud photoIt’s the end of the week explosion! This week is retro all over again when we talk to Seacord about the Nintendo Entertainment System, The Simpsons, Casper the Friendly Ghost, O.J. Simpson, and…wait for it…John Rambo.

Q: So I saw The Simpsons Movie this week…and I didn’t love it. Does that make me a bad person?

No, getting arrested three times for trying on wedding dresses after the stores are closed makes you a bad person. Hiding your grandfather’s insulin makes you a bad person. Trolling high school parking lots during summer school for “research” makes you a bad person (seriously though, how’s that working out? Good, can I catch a ride with you next time?) Simpsons Movie image
Anyway, we love the Simpsons, period. You put your views well in your article. It’s the Simpsons. This movie was inevitable and was pretty much just a good episode just longer. Nothing spectacular, but entertaining. I could have waited to see it on DVD, all right maybe not, but I didn’t love it either. But I love the Simpsons and always will. It will be one of the best shows ever put on television right next to Chico and the Man and The Shield (which if you haven’t seen, pretty much turn off your computer and go buy season 1, 2 and 3 box sets and quit your job.) The whole quitting your job part is just because who really wants to work anyway…I do just fine and I don’t work…hang on…my Mom just came in the basement…

Q: There was a pretty heated debate about Dane Cook in the Comics Alliance comments this week. I asked you to prepare your comments on Dane Cook like you were in debate class in high school. Please now give us your “Pro Cook” and your “Anti Cook” positions. You’re on the clock…

Photo of Jessica Alba and Dane Cook at Comic-ConOK, she’s gone.

Let me start off by saying the FIRST time I heard him I thought he was funny, not gonna lie. But he pukes up the same jokes line for line and never develops anything new. He’s so close to crossing that Tom Green line. You just want to smack him. His whole style of humor is just way too forced. I know there are people out there that like him cause he jokes about the Transformers, and other stuff we all played with growing up. So what? IT’S NOT FUNNY. I haven’t seen Employee of the Month and probably won’t EVER unless I’m drugged and Clockwork Orange‘d into it. His cameo in Waiting was ok, but the whole movie rocked and that was mostly Ryan Reynolds. I hope that in 3 years the only gig this guy can get is an appearance commenting on those crappy E! shows about celebrity feuds, etc. Unemployed, me, remember…lots of T.V. time.

Q: There was an interesting question posted this week about the exact nature of how Casper became a friendly ghost. He had to be a living boy first right? Since you’re no stranger to being questioned in murder investigations, I figured you could offer up some plausible scenarios.

Casper the Friendly Ghost cover I’ve thought about this on more than one occasion. First, it really goes back to the weirdness of cartoons and comics from the glory days. Obviously to be a ghost this kid died. Also, he’s dead and friendly. Look man, you’re dead and you can freak people out. Do it! All he does is help living people. They’re alive, you’re dead, be pissed. My best guess, since he is friendly, is that mommy drugged him and placed him in the back of the station wagon, pushed it in the lake and told him to wave to Jesus. Now he roams the earth in this friendly persona until he can assemble all the crystals to open the gates off Hell and exact revenge upon the mother who betrayed him meanwhile unleashing hordes Hell’s Army, if not LEADING Hell’s Army on a war on humankind. Wouldn’t it have been cool if they gave him a suit that was powered by Satan and every time he used it he got closer to going to being called to Hell. While he’s on Earth though he has to deal with other minions sent by the Lord of Hell to force him to use this power, hunted by angels and then eventually warped into something that doesn’t even really resemble what he originally was? Maybe even fight Batman at some point. Then when you thought it couldn’t be any worse he blows all of his money on baseballs. Whoa…déjà vu.

Q: We couldn’t go to San Diego like everybody else because we were serving time in Baltimore at Otakon. Just as a refresher…remind people why they should go read our rundown of our adventure. I think it got a little lost in the SDCC mix. Comics Alliance made like 500 SDCC-related posts this week. I think they’re cooking meth again.

Two words: Hardcore porn, furries, and YAOI. Gross, my soul just cried.

Q: I bought a machine last night that lets me play 8-bit and 16-bit Nintendo games. I apparently suck at the SNES American Gladiators game. This was a distraction from playing Pro Football 2K* on the Xbox where you can control O.J. Simpson and leave him open to vicious blind-side tackles. What’s your favorite old Nintendo game and why?

Tecmo Bowl dude. Bo Jackson, LT (Lawrence Taylor)…what other game can you drop back 70 yards and throw a 105 yard Touchdown pass? Also the Legend of Zelda because I could relate with Link on a personal level. Searching labyrinth after labyrinth trying to collect items so that you can complete the Tri-Force, save the princess. Well in my case it’s more “exploring” cash registers searching for money to “complete” my quest for my princess – Red-Rash Rhonda…man I love penicillin.

Q: John Rambo?

I have no words…gimme a minute, I’m tearing up…

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