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End of the Week Explosion #15

It’s the end of the week. That’s when the explosion happens! This week we learn about the time Seacord defeated Gary Coleman in an MMA fight. Okay…that’s not true….OR IS IT?!

Q: Well, it’s time for a new Explosion, but something feels strange. Different, somehow. I have a sudden urge to drink Mountain Dew and watch Hannah Montana. Do you have any idea what’s going on?

Mountain Dew imageWhat’s up bro? In the months we’ve been doing this it seems that I too have gotten the same urges from time to time. I wish I could pinpoint it, you know? For those of you who haven’t watched Hannah Montana, do it. Just trust me. It’s like getting in on the ground floor of a potential Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan…of course it could all go wrong and we’d end up with just another cutesy Amanda Bynes. Something does feel different though…sort of like Bewitched (the TV show, not the vomit inducing movie) when they switched Darrins and they hoped the audience wouldn’t notice. Eh…I can’t explain it, but I’m not that bright. I just figured out that milk expires. Though if you can stomach the chunks the hallucinations make up for the trip to the emergency room.
WAR
Q: WAR opens this week. If you put Jet Li and Jason Statham in the same movie, won’t it melt the faces of the whole planet? Isn’t that bad for business?

OK, I’ve seen this one already so get ready for some spoilers…it’s basically non-stop fighting action until about the last 30 minutes when John Rambo comes into a warehouse, calls them both d-bags and snaps both their necks. Then and only then does the face melting begin. The theater I was in looked like the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark but it may have been the milk….


Q: In “sort-of-cute-chicks-are-in-comics-stuff” news, Kristin Bell from VERONICA MARS is going to be on HEROES and Scarlett Johansson is in talks to be in Frank Miller’s SPIRIT movie. Am I the only one that thinks a SIN CITY-style SPIRIT movie is a bad idea? How badly will I get flamed if I confess that I don’t like HEROES?

Hayden PanettiereSince the cheerleader is officially legal you deserve every bit of hate mail you get for not liking this show. I don’t care if this show was called 30 Minutes with a girl in a cheerleading outfit I’d still watch it. The only downside to the show is that she isn’t in every shot. If Scarlett Johansson is going to be in the SPIRIT movie in either some sort of tight fitting completely out of place outfit then I’m in. Other than that I could care less. Great comic which I don’t think is going to make a good movie. Trust me I’ve written Scarlett (we’re on a first name basis) and she’s answered back several times. Though she never answers my questions and for some reason uses the name ValPak and sends me coupons. What that has to do with her reading my scripts and suggestions I haven’t quite figured out. It’s like the DaVinci Code except not at all, but I did save 50 cents on Hawaiian Punch…thanks again SJ.
Halo Uprising
Q: The Halo comic came out this week. Could you beat Master Chief in Guitar Hero II ?

I could beat Jesus in Guitar Hero II. Why? Because I am a hero, a Guitar Hero if you will. He was, what, a carpenter? Last I checked walking on water had nothing to do with 5 starring Freebird….zing!

Jenna With a Sword of Some SortsQ: Much more importantly, though, there’s a Jenna Jameson comic in the works. How many copies have you pre-ordered?

This got so much attention and just out-right hatred from people on this site. Granted I think it’s an awful idea but it’s because if I am going to spend $3.50 on Jenna Jameson why do I want to see her drawn and clothed? What do I care if she is a sword-wielding-monster-fighting-whatever? She’s a PORN STAR…make porn…if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. Though she’s kind of freakish looking now so I dunno, direct?

Yeah so really I still feel like something is different…can’t figure it out…guess it’ll come to me later Ia….err…Kev.

Umm…yeah. Later.

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