End of the Week Explosion #18

Welcome to what was almost the Beginning of the Week Explosion. Y'see, Seacord just got Xbox Live and football just started and that chick from High School Musical has naked pictures on the internet, so Seacord has been a little busy trying to figure out if he can somehow combine the three without violating his parole. Good luck, muchacho!

Q: Last week we talked about how everyone was flapping their gums about the IRON MAN trailer that wasn't even out yet. The thing is, it kicked my ass completely. I mean, come on. Sabbath?! Awesome.

What's up bro? I completely underestimated this movie. They couldn't have put a better trailer together if they tried. I am still putting my face back together as it oozed off from sheer kick-assness of it. The only thing better I saw this week was the season premiere of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Nothing says humor more than finding a babies in the dumpster, LSD and New Kids on the Block. If you have not seen this show, go to the store (don't wait for Netflix) and buy seasons 1 & 2. Amazing. I've watched both new episodes and haven't stopped laughing. I also realized the pilot light in my oven is out and there is a suicidal amount of Carbon Dioxide in my apartment but I only say it enhances my viewing.

Q: I just called an ambulance to your "apartment complex". Try not to stand directly in front of the stove. Good news is they said it will take 15 minutes, so we have some time for more questions! Soooo.....they're making a TRON 2?! I don't know why I'm trying to sound excited. I've never even seen TRON. Is my childhood incomplete? (I did just rent the MONSTER SQUAD.)

No your childhood is far from incomplete. Anyone who can begin a story with "this one time in Alabama" and end it with machine gun fire...pretty sure that's a Disney movie in the making. Sorry, if you like Tron as a "good" movie, you're a moron. It's awful. Why they would make a second one is beyond me? Does Dennis Quaid need work that bad? Maybe direct to DVD, but a theater release? Come the F on!

Q: In the new JLA WEDDING SPECIAL, Batman spends part of his fortune on strippers for Green Arrow's bachelor party. How would his dead parents (shot in an alley, btw. Bad way to go.) feel about that?

I have been re-assured that this is good, though I haven't have had a chance to read it. Normally I'd write this off immediately, but OK, Batman footing the bill for strippers, awesome. Batman, good...strippers, good....JLA...ehhh...sometimes good. So 2 ½ outta three ain't bad. To answer your question, ask yourself how you would feel? If you are looking down (well up in our cases) at your son blowing money on disease ridden strippers, alcohol and whatever else you need to make someone's last night as a free man on Earth a memorable one? Exactly, the tears of pride would be flowing.

Q: So the fourth Indy flick is called INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL? Isn't that the name of the Indiana Jones fan-fiction that you sent to George Lucas on his birthday?

No no no. My fan fiction was just one sentence over and over again. "All Jar Jar and no play make Seacord a dull boy." I gotta admit. I'm stoked for this movie. It's Indiana Jones. Granted, Harrison Ford is the better side of 80+ and the product placement will probably involve Depends and Ensure, but there is probably a good story in there somewhere. It's not like Lucas has made crap movies look at Star Wars, E.T., etc. I mean sure he made a mistake by letting someone else buy the Star Wars franchise and make those horrible prequels but....wait what? He did that? Oh, screw that. This movie will suck ass.

Q: You got hooked up to Xbox Live this week? How's that working out for you? Does it make you any more interested in the 75 HALO stories posted on Comics Alliance this week? Also, is it cool that I posted your Gamertag on the HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL message board I'm on?

Yeah Xbox live is pretty sweet. Nothing makes you feel better about yourself then getting your ass handed to you by some 12 year old in Indonesia. Sure it's a video game, but still. How many times can I get sniped and called "ghey" before I snap and track these kids down. Really, no problem, I will punch a kid. Ask anyone. What? You "fragged" me? I'll punch, kick, bite...I don't care. Why? Because these little bastards are asking for it. Bring on Halo 3. Little monsters are lucky I don't have a job so I'm stocking up on DayQuil and Red Bull. I'll be ready. Oh and post away. You know who was in High School Musical? Hannah Montana. 2 years 8 months and counting.

Man, Seacord knows a lot about Hannah Montana, Seriously. Here's the imdb entry for Miley Cyrus's role in High School Musical 2.
"High School Musical 2 (2007) (TV) (uncredited) .... Girl by Pool"
The fact that he can recall that fact while being slowly killed by carbon monoxide...amazing! Hang in there Seacord! The ambulance is on the way! If you get confused, it's the one that says "ECNALUBMA"!