Holiday Gift Guide: ‘Achewood’ Merchandise

When it comes to the holiday gift-giving season, comic book readers are notoriously difficult to shop for. I mean, most of us are down at the shop buying our favorite stuff every single week, so when the time comes for people who like us to get us something we want, well, a lot of times we already have it. That’s why we’re stepping in with a public service, bringing you comics-related items sure to make the season brighter, whether you’re browsing for a gift or just looking for something to drop hints about so that you don’t get stuck with a random assortment of back issues again.

Even if you're as big a fan of Achewood as I am, you might not know that the merchandise section recently returned after being absent for almost two years -- so finally, you can give someone that Sex Bicycle t-shirt they've always wanted. It's great for grandma!

ITEM: Achewood merchandise.

CLASSIFICATION: T-shirts, posters, mugs

AVAILABILITY: $20 to $30 at Achewood.com

Achewood is one of my all-time favorite comics, web or otherwise -- as I've written before, The Great Outdoor Fight is my pick for the single best comic of the 21st century so far -- but for a long time, there was no real way to express that love by decorating my torso and/or walls. This year, though, just as Achewood returned to a seemingly regular Friday update schedule (fingers crossed), Chris Onstad has also brought back the shop, just in time for the holiday gift giving season. There are prints and posters based on the stories (including one print of a painting Onstad did of Philippe, in case you would like to explain to visitors why you have a painting of a small otter in dress shoes hanging in your living room), but the big draw, of course, is the t-shirts.

The nice thing about the shirts is also the nice thing about the dialogue from Achewood itself: It's funny enough to work with or without context. People may wonder why there is a robot on the shirt proclaiming you King of the Makeouts, but Sex Bicycle and Ice Cream Headache work pretty well on their own, even if you're not familiar with the strip.

Plus, if you know any graphic designers or font nerds, the prints section includes the perfect gift for them: A color reproduction of the (in)famous Comic Sans strip:

Also worth noting: The coffee cups available are 15 ounces, not that baby school "11 ounce" nonsense that you get from other sites, and therefore a nice gift for your favorite Internet comics critic. Seriously, we all know "11 ounces" is the biggest lie in merchandising history, right after labeling Halloween costumes as non-flammable.