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Man Stays Hulked Out After Painting Himself Green, Finally Understands Bruce Banner’s Inner Torment

As a wise man once said — or at least, as a frog puppet operated by a wise man once sang — it’s not easy being green. That might not seem like a lesson that can be applied to your daily life, but it’s definitely one that Paolo Henrique Dos Santos of Rio de Janeiro learned this past week, when he painted himself green for a Hulk costume that he wore for a run.

Amazingly, the paint stayed on for the duration of a three-mile run. Unfortunately, the paint also stayed on for the next day, despite constant scrubbing, because it was less “makeup” and, according to The Sun, more “paint reserved for ballistic missiles and nuclear submarines.”

Aside from the fact that it caused him to be stuck in his Hulked-out form for significantly longer than he intended, the green paint was as big a hit as Dos Santos expected, especially among kids. According to Fox News, this wasn’t Dos Santos dressed as the Hulk for Rio de Janeiro’s Challenge For Peace run, as he went with the same costume last year without incident. The difference is that this year, his local paint store was out of his usual brand and suggested the somewhat more durable option as a substitute.

Of course, that does raise the question about what kind of store sells both body paint and the kind you put on a nuclear submarine. I imagine that’ll be the crux of the lawsuit Dos Santos plans on filing now that he’s safely returned to paint-free human form, after 24 hours of scrubbing that saw his entire neighborhood join in with sponges and the occasional stiff-bristled toilet brush.

Really, though, you can’t blame this one entirely on the store that sold the paint. I mean, just look at the pictures:

Dos Santos looks pretty cheesed off in every single one, and while that’s pretty understandable given the situation, everybody knows that getting angry isn’t going to help you stop being the Hulk! It’s just going to make you stronger!

[via Robot 6]

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