There are few things in the world more evil than scalpers, and I'm not talking about murderers that forcibly remove the hairy scalp from their victims (which is, indeed, a bad thing) nor am I discussing Jason Aaron's "Scalped," undeniably an awesome thing. No, the real scalpers you have to watch out for are the toy scalpers, a deadly breed of hunters that track down the rarest action figure collectibles on the market, then turn around and sell them online for marked up prices.

Didn't get that sparkling skin Edward Cullen variant you so desperately wanted for Christmas? Blame it on the scalpers, kids.

The folks at Articulated Discussion were brave enough to sit down with two anonymous scalpers to discuss their business practices. It's a very interesting conversation, but nonetheless a rage-inducing one to read. Among the details revealed are the facts that some scalpers have spies inside of toy companies and stores, many of them stalk popular message boards to find out what the rarest collectibles are at a given point in time, and some of them even enjoy eating McDonald's breakfast burritos while on the job."Scalping is [a] jealous word, used by jealous people, who do not have the same opportunity to do what you do," argues Biff, one of the two interviewed scalpers. "The jealous people who complain about scalping are the same hypocrites who will buy items at retail to stash away for twenty years to sell to try to put their kids through college... which would be 'Future-Scalping.'"

He has an interesting point, but it's completely cheapened by the fact that his name is Biff. I half-expected him to throw a "You're dead, McFly" in there, but no dice.

[Thanks to TNI for the link.]