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Japanese Green Lantern: Hilariously Mistranslated Oaths

We recently saw the Japanese Green Lantern t-shirt below via Kiel Phegley at the Cool Kids Table, and first of all — nice. I wish it came in a babydoll size the way I wish that about pretty much all of the awesome Lantern-related shirts, but still, nice.

Second, for those of you who don’t speak Japanese, the text in the starburst says, “in brightest day,” and beneath that, “in darkest night,” which is also close enough. Of course, if you ran this through Babelfish, you’d think the Green Lantern oath translation was “At bright day the night it is, indirectly!”

A lot of funky things can happen with translation filters, and our favorite one is Translation Party, because it is less about finding accurate English versions of foreign texts and more about creating the craziest translations possible. It takes whatever phrase you give it and converts it into Japanese, then converts that back into English, then back into Japanese — ostensibly until it reaches “equilibrium” but usually until it reaches maximal ridiculousness.

So what would happen if we ran all of the oaths of the various multi-colored Lantern corps through the Translation Party, we wondered? The results were illuminating.

Sinestro Corps oath: “In blackest day, in brightest night, beware your fears made into light, let those who try to stop what’s right, burn like my power… Sinestro’s might!

Translation: “The first day of class, night lights, the light is right, I feel that such concerns electricity burns: Sinestro can stop trying to please you.”Red Lantern oath: “With blood and rage of crimson red, ripped from a corpse so freshly dead, together with our hellish hate, we’ll burn you all–that is your fate!”

Translation: “We all like hell, burn them — it’s your destiny, our death, dead, deep red blood, not fresh, and red lips like crazy!”

Green Lantern oath:
In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight, let those who worship evil’s might, beware my power… Green Lantern’s light!

Translation: “Bright day, the first night of class. And I must escape the evil eyes. Bio-note, my strength: We worship the Green Lantern!”

Blue Lantern oath: “In fearful day, in raging night, with strong hearts full, our souls ignite, when all seems lost in the War of Light, look to the stars– For hope burns bright!”

Translation: “Copernicus anger in the fire at night, burning flame wars, they have lost any text signal to the stars!

Star Sapphire oath:For hearts long lost and full of fright, for those alone in blackest night, accept our ring and join our fight, love conquers all– With violet light!”

Translation: “Join the first class, we completed a long night of the fight against terrorism, we must accept the love of honey associated with ring conquest!”

Black Lantern Oath: “The Blackest Night falls from the skies, the darkness grows as all light dies, ee crave your hearts and your demise, by my black hand–The dead shall rise!”

Translation: “Air conditioning, light and dark autumn night of the death of the first degree. Dead end in my black heart, it is necessary to achieve your dreams!”

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