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The ComicsAlliance Quiz: Which Lantern Corps Are You?

Over the past few years of “Green Lantern” and “Blackest Night,” the DC Universe has expanded its roster of ring-slingers fueled by emotions (including, curiously enough, “Death”), and left comics fans wondering just where they fit in. And now, ComicsAlliance has the answer!

Inspired by the teen magazines of their youth, Laura Hudson and Chris Sims (What? He has a sister!) have concocted a handy way to see which Lantern Corps is the one where you belong! Just keep track of your answers to the following questions, and see where you fit at the end!

1. At a typical party, you’re most likely to be…

A) Testing your willpower by pounding as many shots as possible and then trying not to pass out sans pants.

B) Hoping that no one sees you sneaking out of the closet and readjusting your dress with a confused but happy partygoer in your wake.

C) Casing the joint for anything that’s easy to slip into your pockets. If they didn’t want it to be yours, they should’ve bolted it down.

D) Lurking outside with a hockey mask and machete, trying to figure out which cable you have to disconnect for a power outage..

E) Just cold punching hell of suckers in the mouth.

F) Accessing your host body’s memories so that you can provoke emotional trauma and feed.

2. Tonight’s a big night on the town, so while you’re getting ready, you’re…

A) Checking to make sure bomber jackets are still in style.

B) Getting your bling centered right over your uterus.

C) Making sure you’ve got enough room in your pockets to hold everything you’re going to lift.

D) Trying to decide if the clown mask is too over the top, or if you should just stick with the chainsaw.

E) Seething.

F) Accessing your host body’s memories so that you can provoke emotional trauma and feed.

3. When you think of a song that best sums up your feelings about love, you go with…

A) Love Will Tear Us Apart

B)
Love Will Keep Us Together

C)
Love Lockdown

D)
Love Is Wicked

E)
Love Is a Battlefield

F)
Accessing your host body’s memories so that you can provoke emotional trauma and feed.

4. When you meet a totally hot girl/guy at a party, you try…


A) Nonchalantly mentioning how your coworkers have decided that you’re the best, even though your track record mostly consists of racism and head trauma.

B)
Giggling and loudly announcing how wasted you are.

C) Announcing that he or she is now yours, then waiting for the inevitable call to the police.

D)
Subtly finding out whether he or she is more afraid of snakes or spiders, and then making an excuse to head out to the car.

E) Punching a hole in the wall and yelling “WHY DON’T YOU TALK TO ME?!”

F) Accessing your host body’s memories so that you can provoke emotional trauma and feed.

5. You had plans with your friends tonight but they canceled, so instead you’re…

A) Driving yourself around in a truck to find America.

B) Signing up for a poledancing class.

C) Taking their stuff.

D) Sneaking into their houses and writing cryptic messages on their bathroom mirrors.

E) Swearing revenge.

F) Accessing your host body’s memories so that you can provoke emotional trauma and feed.

6. What’s your worst habit?

A) Insisting that “willpower” is an emotion.

B) Public indecency.

C) Taking things that do not technically belong to you, but should.

D) Frightening children. And adults. And animals. And inanimate objects, once you figure out how.

E) Attempting to replace your blood with emotions. Seriously, you cannot explain that to a hospital no matter how hard you try.

F) Accessing your host body’s memories so that you can provoke emotional trauma and feed.

7. When you’ve had a long day and need to relax, you like…

A) Reminding everyone of how awesome you were back in the ’70s.

B) Slipping into something more comfortable, like thigh-high vinyl boots and a domino mask.

C) Visiting your Money Bin for a swim.

D) Making sure your collection of realistic, dead-eyed porcelain dolls are in the right position for visitors to see them once the door slams shut.

E) Unwinding with a movie that chills you out, like “Death Wish” or “Inglourious Basterds.”

F) Accessing your host body’s memories so that you can provoke emotional trauma and feed.

8. Your idea of a perfect date is…

A) With a girl who is definitely underage, but she’s an alien and she doesn’t look like it so it’s okay. Or at least that’s what you keep telling us.

B) Clothing optional.

C) One where your date pays for everything.

D) Ultimately insignificant in the face of cosmic horror.

E) The prelude to a long night of shouting, throwing things, and grudge-sex.

F) Accessing your host body’s memories so that you can provoke emotional trauma and feed.

9. In your dreams, you often imagine that you are:

A) Being chased by little blue men who keep wanting you to help out the “orange skins.”

B) Back in school on the day of the big test, but you’re in your underwear. You feel really overdressed.

C)
Being slowly crushed under a mountain of your own possessions. It’s actually pretty pleasant.

D) Finally putting one over on those meddling kids and their dog.

E) So mad that you often wake up strangling your pillow. Or your roommate.

F) Accessing your host body’s memories so that you can provoke emotional trauma and feed.

10. What’s your favorite game?

A) Scribblenauts.

B) Beatles Rock Band.

C) Grand Theft Auto.

D) Resident Evil.

E)
Punch-Out!!

F)
Accessing your host body’s memories so that you can provoke emotional trauma and feed.

11. Are you dead?

A) No.

B) No.

C) No.

D) No.

E) No.

F) Yes.

RESULTS! Tally up your answers. If You Said…

Mostly As: Congratulations! Your willpower, creativity, and willingness to be part of some truly ridiculous storylines has marked you as the perfect recruit for the Green Lantern Corps! Green Lanterns are, of course, totally honest, totally fearless, and totally beloved by fans, just as long as their name happens to be Hal Jordan. Watch out for evil yellow space bugs, and you’ll be fine!

Mostly Bs: With your ability to inspire great lust–er, love and willingness to show some skin, you’re a perfect fit for the all-girl running crew of the Star Sapphires! Just remember the three Ses: Sexiness, Sultriness, and Setting Feminism in Comics Back By 20 Years. Oh, and you might want to start doing crunches now: Pink latex isn’t very forgiving.

Mostly Cs: You’ve shown yourself capable of greed to such monumentally Scroogian proportions that you’re almost guaranteed a visit from the Ghosts of Various Christmases this year, but until then, why not sign up as the latest recruit to the Orange Lanterns?

Mostly Ds: We hate to tell you this, but you’re basically a creep. But don’t worry! Creepiness can come in handy if you want to spread fear throughout the galaxy as a member of the Yellow Lantern Corps! You’ll fit in perfectly, but keep in mind that you will be represented by a a guy with a pencil-thin moustache and/or a giant yellow space bug.

Mostly Es: Easy, tiger! We know you’re pissed, and while your constant seething rage would probably land you in a court-mandated anger management course, it’s also your ticket to adventure as the newest Red Lantern! Assuming you don’t work yourself into a cardiac event before the ring shows up, they’ll be lucky to have you, but keep in mind that side effects do include… well, let’s just call it a specific brand of nausea.

Mostly Fs: Well, the bad news is you’re dead. Fortunately, this being the DC Universe, being dead is only slightly more daunting than having a slight head cold (and with about the same recovery time), and even more fortunately, that means you’re eligible for a starring role in the hottest title in comics! Just make sure you were a character Geoff Johns liked when he was a kid, and you too can strap on a Black Lantern ring and terrorize your former friends!

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