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Love Hurts: ‘That’s It, Darling — Cry!’

As we head towards Valentine’s Day, ComicsAlliance is offering up a daily tribute to love, as depicted in the somewhat dubious world of Romance Comics! Today’s entry: Secret Hearts #105’s “The Wrong Kind of Love!”

If you get most of your information about romance from comics, which I do, then it becomes pretty clear that teen-age romances are a Machiavellian web of lies and deceit. Or at least, that’s how it was in 1965, when young Janet was left alone when her boyfriend went off to the war and spent most of her time pining for his return, refusing to date others.

In order to make her feel better, Janet’s friend Nona offers to let Janet tag along on her own dates with Rob. It’s a nice sentiment, but considering that she mostly ends up reading books alone in the back seat of a car while Nona and Rob make out in a nearby hedge, it’s not really all it’s cracked up to be.

Eventually, the sight of Nona and Rob’s romance brings Janet out of her shell a little, to the point where she starts looking around for a guy of her own:

Unfortunately, she’s going after Rock Hudson and… Sweetheart, I have some bad news for you. You are barking directly up the wrong tree.

To make matters worse, she decides that it’s actually Rob that she loves, and so she sets up a romantic candlelight dinner for two on a night when Nona is otherwise occupied. Rob, being a dude, immediately caves, encouraging her to get the crying over with so he can take her out to his favorite makeout hedge.

One would think this would complicate Janet and Nona’s relationship, but as it turns out, she is totally cool with it. She just shrugs and tells those crazy kids to have a good time. So today’s moral: Whatever you do this Valentine’s Day, do not try to make your single friends feel better. They will stab you in the back in a heartbeat.

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