In yet another unsettling instance of comics crossing over into the mainstream, the Blue Springs Assembly has asked the Lord, in all His infinite wisdom, to permit eighteen hours of sleep per day, smiting of idiot canines, superior spider-killing kung fu, and cheap shipping rates to Abu Dhabi. And oh yeah, screw the homeless.

Of course, maybe I'm reading this wrong and what they're really asking for is the ability to enjoy Jim Davis' long-running, ghost-written strip.

In which case I completely understand, and formally retract my snark.