According to The Onion, Nicolas Cage's greatest acting role might be playing the screaming, bug-eyed, has-never-turned-down-a-part-in-his-life actor known as Nicolas Cage. The bizarre fiction seems nearly as plausible as the truth as they sit down with the master puppeteer inside Cage, whom we last saw invoking the spirits of death in order to get into character for the Ghost Rider movie. This makes far more sense than Saturday Night Live's theory that Cage had himself cloned.

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