If you're like me, you've at some point said to yourself, "Gosh, I sure do love the Undertaker, but I wish he was a little more like Rat Fink!" If so, you're in luck! Playmates' new WWE Nitro Machines line of toys features an outsized Undertaker popping out of the roof of a tricked out purple hearse, leading the way with his scythe-topped cane like he's in a race against Dracula's Dragster.



The WWE Nitro Machines also feature Dean Ambrose in an ambulance, John Cena in a monster truck, and the Rock in something called a "Bull Machine." Are these vehicles meant to be Shriner-sized, or have the wrestlers driving them grown to Hulk-like proportions? It's hard to say, but there's a weirdo retro-cool to them either way.



Weird in a different sense are the WWE Nitro Sprints. They're also WWE Superstars in out-of-scale cars, but these guys are removable and feature a flywheel between their legs, so you can pull them back to build up momentum, and they'll propel the car forward like an over-muscled Fred Flintstone. The proportions of the figures look really weird outside the car, but then wrestlers have never been known for their normal proportions anyway.

The WWE Nitro Sprints feature the Rock, John Cena, Brock Lesnar, and the Undertaker. Why neither set features Sasha Banks in her Escalade is a mystery to me. Or Daniel Bryan in an environmentally friendly biodiesel-fueled VW bus, for that matter.



From the Playmates press release:

“Playmates Toys is thrilled to partner with WWE to bring the action from the ring to the streets with Nitro Sprints and Nitro Machines,” said Karl Aaronian, Senior Vice President of Marketing, Playmates Toys. “We designed the figures and vehicles to represent the personality of each Superstar and we anticipate that fans will enjoy the play experience of racing their favorite wrestlers.”

Both series are available now exclusively at Toys 'R Us.