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Real-Life Dreadnoks Foiled By Real-Life Snake-Eyes

As anyone who grew up watching and reading “GI Joe” knows, Australians have been living for decades under a reign of terror, held in the iron grip of fear of the Dreadnoks. A biker gang led by master of disguise and identity thief Zartan that also functions as low-rent mercenaries for the terrorist organization known as Cobra, the Dreadnoks are little more than thugs, and fortunately, they’ve been defeated time and time again by, among others, an elite force of Aarashikage Ninjas led by Snake-Eyes.

“But Chris,” you say, “That’s just in comics and cartoons! That sort of thing doesn’t happen in real life!”

And to that, I say this: You clearly haven’t read this morning’s Sydney Morning Herald:

The men tripped the 27-year-old student, kicking him as he lay on the ground and grabbing his mobile phone and iPod.

What the assailants did not realise was that they were standing outside Ninja Senshi Ryu – western Sydney’s ninja warrior school.

They also failed to notice a ninja, Nathan Smith, standing in the shadows outside the dojo. Mr Smith immediately alerted his sensei, or teacher.

Kaylan Soto, a sensei with 30 years’ Ninjutsu training, and three of his students raced out of the dojo towards the startled attackers. All five crusaders were clad in the ninja’s traditional, all black uniform.

The number of awesome things in this article is pretty high as is (chief among them being that holy crap there is an actual ninja school in Australia, which I can only assume is for the kids who didn’t get into Hogwarts), but I’m mainly concerned with the fact that this will finally give me a chance to wear the t-shirt I’ve had in reserve for when science finally perfected Weather Dominator technology:

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