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Red Robin (Not The Sidekick) Wants You To Eat Wolverine’s Burgers

I realize that this isn’t going to shock anyone, but for real? I am totally into bizarre food-related tie-ins for superhero movies. And as a result, I am way too excited about a pair of new burgers from Red Robin (the fast food chain, not DC’s Tim Drake) meant to cash in on the upcoming The Wolverine movie.

Admittedly, a) I haven’t had lunch yet, and b) there’s a huge missed opportunity by not topping them with Canadian bacon or serving them alongside Omega Red Potatoes, and absolutely no use of the word “Adamanti-YUM!” in the ad copy — seriously, Red Robin, get with the friggin’ program — but they do look pretty tasty.First up, the Berserker Burger, which features “zesty aioli, spicy pickles, Sriracha onion straws and Cheddar cheese on a brioche bun that has Wolverine claw marks in it!”

And look: Not to tell those burgercrafters how to do their job or anything, but the last thing I want to put in my mouth is something that’s had Wolverine’s claws all over it, for what I should hope are obvious reasons.

Slightly less likely to be covered in Brood goo and Hand ninja dust is the “Kuzuri Style Tavern Double,” which boasts “samurai slaw, ginger garlic wonton strips, and cilantro.”

One more time for those of you in the back: SAMURAI SLAW. You know, just like the samurai of feudal Japan ate on their quick-service hamburgers.

Bizarre edible cultural appropriation aside, I still think these things look pretty good. And yet, I still can’t shake the feeling that Wolverine burgers are a pretty weird choice for a tie-in. I mean, we all know that Wolverine’s more of a pizza guy.

Usually with a side of fruit, and an inexplicable Australian accent.

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