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‘Smallville’ Season 7 Premiere: How Bizarro!

As with every season finale in the ‘Smallville’ realm, last season left us hanging with one calamity after the next and millions of questions. #1 Are Chloe and Lana really dead? #2 Did Lex kill Lana, his wife? #3 How will Clark defeat his Bizarro phantom nemesis? And #4 when will we get our first glimpse at the new super (girl) hottie Laura Vandervoort?

The episode picks up right where it left off, with the clash between Clark and Bizarro at Reeves dam/Lex’s secret alien fighting soldier lab. (How creepy was that scene last season with all those rows of bodies waiting to be injected with alien DNA?) After an entire season, Clark is finally left with only one more Phantom Zoner to eradicate from Earth. Not the best time to have to save the world and himself, considering the girl he’s in love with just died from a car bomb. ‘Tis the life of a superhero. Plus, he did ask for it, after all, not listening to Jor-el and releasing all those Zoners in the first place.

Our first glimpse of Supergirl is via saving Lex from almost death # 839,273,592 under water, trapped in the back of a police car, post his Lana murder arrest. Wearing only a white draped garment and completely bathed in light, Lex thinks he was saved by angel to face his evils. Death would be too easy an escape. Surprisingly, when given the option to flee the country and escape his charge, he, instead, chooses to be a big boy and turn himself in. Another Luthor in the slammer! We’ll see how long this lasts …

Apologies for spoiling this one, but let’s get a mighty “hallelujah” that Chloe miraculously came back to life! Clark needs a right hand gal, especially with Ma Kent out of the picture. After finding out her krypto-tear life-saving power, it’ll be interesting to see if, and when, it happens again. But, for now, she barely missed a beat, helping Clark figure out how to beat the “bizzaro version” of him (leave it to Chloe to get the task of coining key ‘Superman’ legacy phrases).

Enter the Martian Manhunter, back from healing his battle wounds against the phantom. With his help, Clark figures out the sun is his main source of power and only way to defeat Bizarro, who has all of his strengths and none of his weaknesses.

Once again, ‘Smallville’ toys with the Lex and Clark as allies angle, when Bizarro goes to Lex for help with killing Clark. Biz needs kryptonite to fuel up and knows Lex has a hidden stash. Surprisingly, Lex refuses, and even tries to threaten him (when will these people learn that they CAN’T WIN??). Bizarro is no fool, though, poignantly stating, “Lex, redemption doesn’t suit you. Why protect the Clark Kent who hates you, when you can help the one who wants to be your ally?”

My only complaint with this otherwise exciting season opener, was the writers’ attempt at pushing the Lois and Clark relationship forward through Bizarro. “Man, how can a guy miss what’s been right in front of him all this time?” he says, right after staring at her butt and right before grabbing it. Lois is unamused, as am I. However, the scene is totally worth watching just to see the look on Tom Welling’s face as he’s checking her out. PRICELESS.

Obviously, there are still more questions left unanswered at episode’s end. What happened to Lionel Luthor? His body was mysteriously dragged away from the dam early in the episode, and from that moment on was labeled “unaccounted for.” Where will Martian Manhunter come in next? And I won’t spoil the Lana mystery, but the last two minutes of the episode revealed what really happened to her (along with typical ‘Smallville’ dramatic musical serenade ending — this time to the tune of Kelly Clarkson’s ‘Sober’).

Oh, and respect to Supergirl for the hottie outfit choice after navigating the planet for only 24 hours(poor thing was trapped in that dam). Some people never get it. Those extra-terrestrials sure are smart.

(BTW … stay tuned for a “favorite moments” gallery to launch next week!)

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