I admit, I'm not a huge "Smallville" guy. The show's glacial pacing lost me to watching paint dry long ago - seriously, that eggshell white stuff dries quick - so I'll cut to the chase with what's really on my mind.

Why does this one-off dork look more like Superman than Superman?

You're looking at Warrior Angel, a Smallvilleverse character coming to life via magic in the upcoming "Warrior" episode of the super hero drama. Compare his flowing red cape, belt and form-fitting fabrics to Clark's drab duds (for all his power, he couldn't screen print his "S" shield). It's discouraging, no?

Here's the CW's official synopsis for the episode, as seen at Comics Continuum. Maybe it'll shed some light on the matter:

"Clark (Tom Welling) meets Zatanna (guest star Serinda Swan) at a comic book convention, where she tells him her father charmed a copy of the comic book Warrior Angel and it holds magical powers. A young man named Stephen (guest star Carlo Marks) steals the comic book and develops super powers, transforming himself into Warrior Angel and saving Chloe (Allison Mack) from a horrible accident. "Meanwhile, Lois (Erica Durance) becomes jealous of Clark's relationship with Zatanna."

Ah, I get it! Only comic book characters can look like comic book characters on "Smallville!" Unless, of course, you count almost every other person with "abilities" on the show who actually resembles their source material selves.

Sure, the bigger stories surrounding this episode are the return of Zatanna and some Wonder Womanly cosplay, but It's hard to watch the would-be Man of Steel keep up this moody business, especially with brighter possibilities starring him in the face.

C'mon Clark, just put on some tights, punch some criminals and fly Lois to the moon for a romantic dinner or something. It'll be great!

As it stands Superpup had more fun than you. Is that really how you want to be remembered?