Even movies about toys need writers. That’s why Hasbro, in an effort to compete with Marvel, DC, and every other company out there trying to create an integrated multiproperty cinematic universe has assembled a writer’s room of talent to figure out how to merge their assorted toy brands, including G.I. Joe, M.A.S.K., ROM, Micronauts, and Visionaries, into one streamlined movie continuity. The Hollywood Reporter says the Hasbro writer’s room will meet for the first time on Monday with an impressive roster of talent.
Remember when you were a kid, and you would play with all your different toys at the same time? You’d have the Ninja Turtles team up with the Ghostbusters to take down Hulk Hogan and Ultimate Warrior, and then they’d all get transported to the land of the Thundercats.
On the one hand, the live-action G.I. Joe movies that we've already gotten are, to put it charitably, not very good. On the other hand, the first one gave us President Zartan and a straight up brutal ten minute fight scene between two nine year-olds, and the second had the RZA from the Wu Tang Clan shouting "STORM SHADOW! JINX! PREPARE FOR BATTLE!" and ended with Cobra Commander hanging out in South Carolina. At the end of the day, as bad as they are, I can't bring myself to not kind of love them, if only because they insist on being as weird as they possibly can.
Now, it seems like the third one is slated to get even weirder. HissTank.com, owners of the best possible URL for a G.I. Joe site, are reporting courtesy of FilmDivider that the villains for the third movie will be none other than the psychically linked twin commanders of the Crimson Guard, Tomax and Xamot. And if that's not enough, it's also rumored that the movie will feature Matt Trakker, leader of the Mobile Armored Strike Kommand, M.A.S.K., from the beloved (by me) but also pretty terrible '80s cartoon of the same name. In other words, G.I. Jo3 is gonna be bonkers.
Art: Yehudi Mercado illustrates a series of Muppets in Game of Thrones garb, which fans can pick up in postcard form at his official web site.
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