Chris Onstad is back at Vice -- this time not to give an interview, but rather to write an instructional piece titled "The Achewood Guide to Negotiating Takeout While in an Argument with Your Significant Other."

Think of it as basically an "Achewood" short story. Onstad has always had a bit of a penchant for prose, as seen most recently in the Achewood storyline where Ray Smuckles and Williams-Sonoma founder and cookbook author Chuck Williams competed in a promotional lesbian erotica writing contest while dressed as elephants.