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The ‘Mass Effect’ ’80s Cartoon Doesn’t Actually Exist, Is Still Pretty Awesome

Since Mass Effect 3 was released a few weeks ago, there’s been a lot of controversy over how the game ends. Some fans have advocated storming BioWare’s headquarters with torches and pitchforks, others have praised it for daring to embrace color-coding as a storytelling tool, but no matter what side of the debate you’re on, there’s one thing we can all agree about: Mass Effect would be way better if Commander Shepard grabbed a guitar and rocked the Reapers to death at a battle of the bands.

Fortunately, that’s exactly what happens in IGN’s April Fool’s Day prank this year, a trailer for an ’80s-style Mass Effect cartoon that doesn’t actually exist!

As excited as I am for the Paragon Lost, the upcoming animated feature starring Freddie Prinze Jr. In Space James Vega, I have to say that if they wanted to scrap that and go with IGN’s version instead, I would be down for that in a heartbeat. After all, I love both Scooby-Doo and Mass Effect, and animator Harry Partridge has shown that they are two great tastes that go surprisingly well together. It’s really making me reconsider my take on the game, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the biggest flaw in Mass Effect 3 is that there was no scene in which Tali pulled off a creepy phantom’s mask to reveal the Illusive Man and his creepy eyes.

Either way, Partridge — also the creator of Elder Scrolls Adventures with the Dovahkids, the similarly hilarious mashup of Skyrim and the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon — has made some pretty solid choices. Even though he doesn’t quite have the panache of a wisecracking shark, Barla Von as the team’s Snarf-like mascot is a pretty solid choice, and I would pay good money to hear Tali singing lead on the Jem and the Holograms songbook.

Also, Wrex on keytar. That is all that really needs to be said.

I am a little confused about one thing, though: I’m pretty sure Commander Shepard is a woman.

(via Alfredo Diaz)

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