I'm really sorry, old-school Transformers fans. I, too, have a fondness for "The Touch," the theme song of the 1986 animated Transformers movie, and so I regret to inform you that the remake for the "Transformers 2" film this summer -- by the original artist Stan Bush -- basically runs the song through a Linkin Park filter complete with white boy rapping and emo vamping that makes me want to die a little inside. I never thought I'd say this, but the Dirk Diggler cover was better.