For Love & Sex Week at ComicsAlliance, we're exploring some of the great comics couples we wish were canon, in a series we're calling Unsinkable Ships.

There are many ships in fandom, but Transformers is all but unique in that Transformers ships can feature people who turn into ships. A ship-based ship is therefore provably superior, and what is also provable is this: Nautica and Velocity, from Lost Light (formerly known as More Than Meets the Eye) are 100% in love.

Many ships are based on unfounded speculation, but not this one: this is based on hard, provable facts, with every assertion true because I said so it’s backed up by the weight of cold, steely logic.

 

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Art by Alex Milne / IDW
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Fact #1: This now-famous scene happened in More Than Meets the Eye #53, with Nautica declaring that her friends were more than her friends, they were her best friends, as she literally opens her heart up to them. Go ahead and cry. I did.

Fact #2: Before that happened, this happened in More Than Meets the Eye #52.

 

Art by Alex Milne
Art by Alex Milne / IDW
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Nautica inquiring how conjunx endura work on Cybertron means she must have it on the mind, in addition to how the rituals around declaring an amica endura work. She asks if one leads to the other, with Rewind stating that on Cybertron, one can be friend or sparkmate, but not both. She specifically states that neither rule applies to Caminus, which, of the five people Nautica declares her friendship to, only Velocity counts as her home.

So Nautica feels closest to the people in this room, and we can deduce with logic --- again, cold, steely logic --- which of them is the one that Nautica feels closest to, and should get gay robot married to. By process of elimination, then:

 

Art by Alex Milne
Art by Alex Milne / IDW
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Rung: Like Nautica, a quiet type who prefers to tap his knees rather than get up and dance. But Rung is a little too much like Nautica, and his looming destiny as a literal plot device means he’s going to be too busy with angst to think of romance.

Brainstorm: Nautica may have forgiven him for lying about being a Decepticon for several million years, but Brainstorm also sought to rewrite time because he missed his long-dead conjunx endura, and who needs to be the rebound relationship compared to that?

Nightbeat: Utterly clueless about what the amica endura ceremony was about, establishing Nautica as someone Nightbeat can’t read, so while she might be flirty with him, Nightbeat is clearly not interested. Who needs romance when you’re a detective in a comic with six dozen ongoing mysteries?

Skids: The most likely candidate on first read, since the two of them danced with each other before fighting a wave of personality ticks (p.s. this comic had charisma parasites called personality ticks). But Skids is no longer with us, having burnt out his spark to give everyone superpowers, and he suffers the same point against him that Nightbeat, Brainstorm and Rung have: he’s male.

A male Transformer and a female Transformer? C’mon, that’d never work.

Leaving us with the only character that Nautica has a nickname for: Velocity, or “Lotty.”

 

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Art by Alex Milne / IDW
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Quod erat demonstrandum, to add a genuine Latin phrase to the pseudo-Latin phrases that this book is full of. Nautica and Velocity are 100% meant for each other. This is proven with science. What if we didn’t have science? Probably electrons wouldn’t have happened, and then how would you be reading this?

 

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