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16 Comic Books We’re Probably Glad DC Didn’t Revive


Now that the full slate of 52 new titles has been announced for the DC Comics reboot in September, we’ve seen a variety of characters, titles, and franchises resurrected from obscurity, including Swamp Thing, Static Shock and even Resurrection Man. Of course, not every DC comic of yore made the cut for inclusion in the new era, and in some cases — either because they were terrible or were likely to become terrible — that was probably for the best.

With an assist from Reading Comics author and CA contributor Douglas Wolk, we’ve combed through the archives and found 16 of the most hilarious and terrible comics DC seriously published at one point or another and laid a rose on their graves in gratitude that they have not risen to walk again as terrifying zombies of DC continuity.

Adventures of Bob Hope

Bob Hope is an a**hole. 

Real Fact Comics

Dragons attacking men with ray guns in hot air balloons: FACT

Mr. District Attorney

Based on a popular radio play, this 1950s comic took a gritty, realistic look at the justice system’s valiant fight against mythological creatures in suitjackets.

Peter Porkchops

Peter, weary of the constant humiliation of a suicide food surname, prepares to brutally murder his friend for the crime of pie.

Rex the Wonder Dog


I’m genuinely a little sad about this one, not only because this is one of the greatest covers I have ever seen, but because of this description of his other adventures: “Wearing very cool protective shades [Rex] once witnessed a nuclear explosion, then fought the Tyrannosaurus Rex and pterodactyl that appeared from an underground world as a result of the seismic shift, and fought frozen mammoths on several occasions.” Unfortunately, given what happened with the last Wonderdog DC Comics tried to update, I’d rather they leave well enough alone.

Leave It to Binky

Binky is an a**hole.

Big Town

Man, this comic is being really melodramatic about rescuing a cat from a tree. Is this how people living outside cities imagine them? As places where people do the exact same mundane things, but in sensational ways? NEXT: The Ice Cream Social of DOOM!

Falling in Love

The problem with dating a swinger is that sometimes he slips acid into your food and also doesn’t explain what a “swinger” actually is.

Cancelled Comic Cavalcade

On second thought, the services of this title may still be required… (ZING)

Frontier Fighters featuring Davy Crockett

In this issue, Davy Crockett pre-dates the genre conflation that would later inspire such works as Zombies vs. Robots and Cowboy Ninja Viking. From a historical perspective, however, it was perfectly possible to steal from people on the sea without striped shirts and parrots.

It’s Game Time

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The New Adventures of Charlie Chan

Featuring the CHALLENGE of being TOO STUPID TO LIVE

Bomba the Jungle Boy

Bomba the Jungle Boy is a special case, because not only is it about the jungle adventures of a total Tarzan ripoff, it is the most racist thing ever, even for the ’60s: “A common theme of the Bomba books is that Bomba, because he is white, has a soul that is awake, while his friends, the dark-skinned natives, have souls that are sleeping.” SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS.

Swing with Scooter

No comment.

Strange Sports Stories

Somebody has to ask the hard questions.


Sorry, these are too hilarious to only post one.

Gunfire

Gunfire was, as you might imagine, a hero from the ’90s, which can tell both from the visual style and the fact that his power is that he can turn anything into a gun. Including, I imagine, a gun. His eyepiece later appeared in Hitman One Million, where it accidentally granted his powers to a passerby. It ends badly: “He turns his medical pack into a gun, injuring himself, then accidentally turns his very own buttocks into a grenade.”
Are there any hilarious or terrible comics from the annals of DC history that you also think were better left untouched?

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