16 Comic Books We’re Probably Glad DC Didn’t Revive
Now that the full slate of 52 new titles has been announced for the DC Comics reboot in September, we’ve seen a variety of characters, titles, and franchises resurrected from obscurity, including Swamp Thing, Static Shock and even Resurrection Man. Of course, not every DC comic of yore made the cut for inclusion in the new era, and in some cases — either because they were terrible or were likely to become terrible — that was probably for the best.
With an assist from Reading Comics author and CA contributor Douglas Wolk, we’ve combed through the archives and found 16 of the most hilarious and terrible comics DC seriously published at one point or another and laid a rose on their graves in gratitude that they have not risen to walk again as terrifying zombies of DC continuity.
Bob Hope is an a**hole.
Dragons attacking men with ray guns in hot air balloons: FACT
Mr. District Attorney
Based on a popular radio play, this 1950s comic took a gritty, realistic look at the justice system’s valiant fight against mythological creatures in suitjackets.
Peter, weary of the constant humiliation of a suicide food surname, prepares to brutally murder his friend for the crime of pie.
Rex the Wonder Dog
I’m genuinely a little sad about this one, not only because this is one of the greatest covers I have ever seen, but because of this description of his other adventures: “Wearing very cool protective shades [Rex] once witnessed a nuclear explosion, then fought the Tyrannosaurus Rex and pterodactyl that appeared from an underground world as a result of the seismic shift, and fought frozen mammoths on several occasions.” Unfortunately, given what happened with the last Wonderdog DC Comics tried to update, I’d rather they leave well enough alone.
Leave It to Binky
Binky is an a**hole.
Man, this comic is being really melodramatic about rescuing a cat from a tree. Is this how people living outside cities imagine them? As places where people do the exact same mundane things, but in sensational ways? NEXT: The Ice Cream Social of DOOM!
Falling in Love
The problem with dating a swinger is that sometimes he slips acid into your food and also doesn’t explain what a “swinger” actually is.
Cancelled Comic Cavalcade
On second thought, the services of this title may still be required… (ZING)
Frontier Fighters featuring Davy Crockett
In this issue, Davy Crockett pre-dates the genre conflation that would later inspire such works as Zombies vs. Robots and Cowboy Ninja Viking. From a historical perspective, however, it was perfectly possible to steal from people on the sea without striped shirts and parrots.
It’s Game Time
The New Adventures of Charlie Chan
Featuring the CHALLENGE of being TOO STUPID TO LIVE
Bomba the Jungle Boy
Bomba the Jungle Boy is a special case, because not only is it about the jungle adventures of a total Tarzan ripoff, it is the most racist thing ever, even for the ’60s: “A common theme of the Bomba books is that Bomba, because he is white, has a soul that is awake, while his friends, the dark-skinned natives, have souls that are sleeping.” SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS.
Swing with Scooter
Strange Sports Stories
Somebody has to ask the hard questions.
Sorry, these are too hilarious to only post one.