WWE Imagines a Lantern Corps Rainbow of Professional Wrestlers
As ComicsAlliance readers are probably well aware from the number of times I slip references to the squared circle into my columns, I love pro wrestling almost as much as I love comics. And apparently, I’m not the only one who has that particular overlap in my interest, as evidenced by the fact that right now, there’s an article on WWE.com in which the superstars of the WWE universe are recast as members of DC’s Lantern Corps.
And amazingly, while I did take a shot at the question myself a while back, I didn’t write this one. Check out all the ring-slinging, stone-cold-stunning excitement after the cut!First up, of course, was the WWE’s take on the Green Lantern corps as seen above, and I’m not gonna lie here, folks: As uninterested as I am in the upcoming Green Lantern movie, that is a cast that would totally get me into the theater. John Cena as Hal Jordan and the Big Show as Kilowog are pretty natural leaps, but c’mon: The Miz as Guy Gardner and Hornswaggle the Leprechaun as Ch’p? That’s genius!
And of course, you have to have the Yellow Lanterns of the Sinestro Corps:
Again, you cast Triple-H as Sinestro, and I am in the theater on opening night, son. Does Mark Strong have the chops necessary to play a bad guy in Blade Trinity and a heroic ex-con in The Chaperone? Yeah. I didn’t think so.
Also, it’s worth noting that “Dashing” Cody Rhodes there injured his face, started wearing a mask and hood, and swearing revenge on the person he blamed for it. In other words, he’s already the WWE equivalent of Dr. Doom. Get on that, Marvel.
Next up, we have those blood-splattered Red Lanterns:
I imagine that it’s pretty hard to narrow things down to who represents rage when pretty much every storyline in the company is built on dudes being mad at each other, but this is a pretty good crop. Especially since I’m still mad that Mark Henry is somehow still on television over a decade after being involved in an angle where an elderly woman gave birth to a severed hand. That one about made me start puking blood.
For the Black Lanterns, the choice is clear:
Yes, it’s obvious, but the idea of casting the Undertaker’s opponents for his undefeated WrestleMania winning streak as his victims is pretty hilarious, if only because it would lead to the opportunity of getting the caption “Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts… RISE!“
Also, nice to see that the WWE has tumbled to the fact that “Death” is not an emotion.
Along the same lines, we’ve got the White Lanterns:
Hey, remember that time Shawn Michaels fought Vince McMahon by having God as his tag-team partner? Yeah, both of those still make more sense than the way Swamp Thing came back.
Rounding out the villainous side of things, we’ve got the one and only Orange Lantern…
Alberto Del Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrio! Again, this is a pretty obvious choice: Del Rio’s character is, in the grand pro wrestling tradition of the Evil Foreigner, a rich Mexican aristocrat who believes his money makes him better than all us common folk. What makes this one perfect, however, is the idea that his personal ring anouncer, Ricardo Rodriguez, is a construct created by his ring. Fantastic.
Moving onto the nicer side of things, we’ve got the hopeful Blue Lanterns:
This one’s pretty appropriate: I’m sure Daniel Bryan hopes that WWE will actually remember they’ve signed the best wrestler in the world, Evan Bourne hopes that he might actually get a win on television rather than just putting over big guys, and Rey Mysterio hopes that nobody notices that his finishing move is just falling down on someone.
The Indigo Lanterns present a bit of a problem:
After all, it’s pretty difficult to figure out who represents compassion in the world of pro wrestling. Then again, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel for Sin Cara, whose first match in the WWE was notable for a botch during the finish. Yikes.
And finally, the Violet power of the Star Sapphires:
A bunch of Divas and one cretinous dude. This really is just like the comics! Except that the WWE’s versions are actually dressed a little more modestly and practically than their comic book counterparts.
For more, including the official reasoning behind each group, check out what the WWE has to say about their Superstar Lantern Corps at WWE.com!