In effort to squeeze every drop out of the licensing opportunity that is The Amazing Spider-Man, Marvel has licensed a line of Spidey-inspired nail polish. Obviously, OPI, which is making the polish, is hoping that Spider-fans will come flocking to the cosmetics counter, forsaking their usual shades for Lizard green and webslinger white. But do they really expect the ladies who love Peter Parker to show off their fandom with pretty pink nails?So apparently action hero-inspired nail polish is now a thing, since a Hunger Games nail polish line was announced late last year. At the time, a lot of folks noted that Hunger Games cosmetics were in rather poor taste, since most of the cosmetics mentioned in the books were being applied to death-marked teenagers.

Now I am a girl, and despite my terrible nail-biting habit I have been known to wear nail polish on occasion. And I suppose OPI is getting its licensing money's worth if I'm sitting here writing about their little bottles of paint. But I simply don't understand how Spider-Man nail polish is supposed to separate a geek girl from her money.

As uncomfortable as the idea may be, I can understand the impetus behind a Hunger Games nail polish. I can picture a young girl in her room, painting her nails coal gray and imagining herself as Katniss Everdeen, the strong huntress uneasily thrust into the limelight. That's the sort of totemic power that has put innumerable kids into Superman underwear. But coral colored nail polish doesn't make me feel connected to Spider-Man -- and it doesn't make me feel like Gwen Stacy, either. (I can't help but wonder whether someone in marketing thought the love interest in this movie was a red-head.)

Rather, it appears that the colors were chosen solely on the copywriter's ability to form puns. If OPI is serious about Spider-Man nail polish, why didn't they opt for a nice, classic red?

On the other hand, if OPI's entire mission was to force me to look at nail polish and admit that the Lizard color is kind of cool, they've succeeded. You're one for six, OPI.