Ask Chris

Q: It's the 50th Anniversary of Batman '66! Can you rank the best episodes? -- @TheKize A: I wrote a fair bit about Batman on Tuesday to mark the actual day that it made its debut back in 1966 --- and, you know, I've written a whole bunch about it in general --- but you know what? You're right. The 50th anniversary of what is arguably the single greatest superhero show ever produced is something that's worth celebrating for a while yet. But ranking the best episodes? That's a tough one. It's not that I don't have my favorites, you understand, but with 120 episodes produced over three seasons, mostly divided into the two-part adventures punctuated by a deathtrap that would serve as the show's trademark, there's just too much to choose from. Even at its worst, the show was still fun, and with that many great performances and ludicrous plots, narrowing it all down to a top five is a pretty difficult task. Difficult... but far from impossible.

Q: What comics would you recommend for someone recovering from surgery? Hoping for something fun, easy, pretty episodic. -- @raebeta A: I'm lucky enough that I've never had to go through an extended recovery from surgery, but I have spent plenty sick days in bed from the usual cold and flu, so I know exactly the kind of thing you're getting at. The thing is, while I always go into a bit of bed rest thinking that I'll use that time to catch up on reading, it never really works out that way. Then again, that might be because every time I get so much as a mild sniffle, I want to roll myself up into a blanket like a burrito and play Super Mario Bros. 3 until I feel better, a process that's been going on ever since that time I had a sore throat in 1990. For the record, this is the most effective medical treatment that science has devised, and I'd recommend it over chicken soup nine times out of ten.

Q: How do the holiday mythologies compare between Marvel and DC? -- @crcovar A: How did you know, Crovar?! Another excuse to drop nine thousand words about the underlying differences in the structure of imaginary universes and how they've affected their storytelling over the past seventy years? It's exactly what I wanted for Christmas! Nah, I'm just kidding. We can probably get through this one in five or six thousand. Seven, tops.

Q: How do Santa Claus and Christmas magic mix with superhero settings, where actual magic and superpowers exist? Just how powerful is it? -- @anniezard A: If my years of obsessing over Christmas specials have taught me anything, it's that Christmas magic is quite possibly the most powerful force in the universe. It can change the hearts of miserly ducks, open up a portal to to the mystical realm of Eternia so that kids can learn all about how Skeletor loves fights, and it can even cause dangerous levels of interference with the Morphin Grid. Outside of Batman's thirst for justice and Jughead's love of hamburgers, it might be the single most powerful force in the universe, assuming that you're measuring between Thanksgiving and January 6. As for how Santa Claus himself can fit into a superhero setting, I actually think he's one of the easiest characters from literature or folklore to just slide right into a world of crimefighters and arch-villains. More than Dracula, more than Robin Hood, he's the one who works the best, because when you get right down to it, he's already doing the same kind of stuff. It's just that for some reason, they never call him up when it's time for a crossover.

Q: Which Christmas song would make the best Kirby comic? -- @hazbaz A: Okay, first of all? This is literally the best Ask Chris question in the five-year history of this column. I mean, there are very few questions I've ever gotten that hit the exact bullseye of my interests quite as well as that one. If I somehow manage to come up with an answer that involves a Christmas song about Bulbasaur - something that actually does exist thanks to the charmingly bizarre cash-in abum The Pokémon Christmas Bash - then I think I will have covered everything. But even more than that, it's an opportunity to fix one of the greatest tragedies in comics history: The fact that there just aren't a whole lot of Jack Kirby Christmas comics.

Q: Why is everyone so bent on doing their take on a Batman vs. Superman fight? Is there anything new to add? - @seth_bingo A: As is so often the case with these questions, there's a short answer and a long one here, so let's do the short one first: People keep wanting to do a big fight between Batman and Superman because it happened in a book that was very good and sold very well, and that's not the kind of influence that creators --- or readers, for that matter --- have ever been good at shaking off. The longer answer, though, is that it's an inevitability, a result of how the characters have been built up over the years, how DC as a company has been structured around one and then the other, and even the simple desire that we have as fans to categorize things and play out conflicts and battles to find new and engaging soluions, something that can provide us with some really fun stories. But I mean, yeah. If we're being real with each other here, it's mostly that first one.

Q: Who is the closest DC equivalent to Jessica Jones? -- @charlotteofoz A: For what I suspect is a pretty obvious reason, this is a question that seems to be going around a lot this week, and it's an interesting one. As much as DC has experimented with it, the publisher has never had a lot of lasting success with street-level looks at how its universe functions. And really, that makes sense when you consider that its most famously gritty urban vigilante is also a billionaire who drives around in a rocket car and hangs out with his friends on the moon. But there is a pretty good answer, and while I can't take the credit for thinking it up myself, it's definitely one that I agree with. If you're looking for a character to fill that role in the DC Universe, then you're looking for Cameron Chase --- and not just because they both have those alliterative initials.

Q: Why did What Ifs and Elseworlds use to be so popular? And why don't we see them much anymore? -- @TheKize A: I don't want to reject your premise outright since I think you're onto something here, but I also think it's worth pointing out that we're not exactly suffering from a lack of alternate-continuity stories, either. Multiversity, Convergence and Secret Wars were all based at least partially on the idea of exploring and playing around with the same kind of stories that didn't quite happen. If, however, you're talking about those specific brands, the What If books and the Elseworlds imprint that showed up on so many comics, then you're right. For the most part, I think it just comes down to a simple swing of the pendulum back from oversaturation. There were a ton of those stories, and as is usually the case with these things, publishers just decided to put 'em away for a while. But there's another reason, too, and it has a lot to do with why so many of those stories exist in the first place.

Q: Tell us more about Harold, the person with the hunchback who used to live in the Batcave and build new Batmobiles. -- @beeftony1 A: (Heavy sigh.) All right, look. I've been writing this column for over five years now, and in that time, I've written a lot about Batman. I've gone deep into the patterns that have emerged over the past 75 years to form the core of a fantastic character, the relationships with the other characters in his extended family, and how changing attitudes towards superheroes have shaped how he was portrayed in comics and elsewhere. I've even talked about obscure and forgotten elements of his history that are interesting just for how bizarre they are, like the time Alfred died and became a super-powered crime boss. But there are some things that even the most dedicated Batmanologists try to avoid talking about. And now, it looks like I can't dodge this one any longer, so fine. Let's talk about Harold, who used to live in the Batcave and build new Batmobiles.

Q: Why do people cling to the idea of Batman as the urban legend, even though it doesn't make sense? -- @discord_ink A: I need to be honest with you right up front: I am definitely one of those people who loves the idea of the people in the DC Universe thinking of Batman as an urban legend. It's one of the few Modern Age additions that actually feels like it's embracing the inherent strangeness of the character rather than trying to make him more "realistic," and it does it in a way that still pushes him a little further into darkness and sets a contrast with the other heroes of the DC Universe. It's something that's cool, an element that can add to the grand mystery of a character who demands that kind of atmosphere. That said, you're absolutely right: It doesn't make a bit of sense. But that doesn't mean it's not great.