Want to know what happens when you spend your holiday season ignoring televised children's programming and publications? You miss out on getting irritated by the impressively low 21% Rotten Tomatoes score awarded to the CGI animated "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel."

But worry not! Now that I've sat through more than my share of previews for the film, it's my pleasure to bring on the pain.

No, I'm not going to make you watch a trailer or clips from the film - I'll be gentle and remind those fortunate enough to have read the Chipmunk's early '90s animated series tie-in from Harvey Comics how insane the property was even before it hit Hollywood paydirt.

Yeah, that's the band's manager/dad Dave suffering from severe brain damage and forcing what he presumes to be "trained animals" to jump through hoops into a swimming pool while fully clothed. This guy was their legal adoptive father and he's making his "sons" do tricks to impress some babe in the background? That's way cooler than hanging out with a "I sooo don't want to be here" Zachary Levi in my book.

I remember picking up a few of the Harvey "Chipmunks" issues in grocery stores as a lad, but I never got ahold of this particular masterwork.

Let's all hope the bigwigs behind the eventual "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Threequel" flip through this issue for inspiration. It's the child-abuse PSA America's chipmunks need to help curb a foster care crisis.