Of course, I had to make that joke. Someone was going to, anyway. I might as well. Vagina. Now it's out of the way.

And now for the review: The newest celebrity comic, "Jennifer Love Hewitt's Music Box" is, as you've probably guessed, not a very good comic. But it might not be all Hewitt's fault. Really.

That's not to say she doesn't bear some of the responsibility. She "created" it, which I suppose means that she came up with the "concept" -- a music box that plays a mysterious, and apparently hallucinogenic, tune that not only allows a forensic scientist to see future crimes, but is also as addictive as 100% Bolivian snow.Despite these addictive qualities, at some point in the story Detective Oliver just wants it to stop, which leads us to believe the music box sounds a lot like this:

And while "Box" does a decent job of being a CBS version of "100 Bullets" your grandmother might enjoy, the real question becomes, how do you maintain a 10-issue series with such a shallow device?

Then there are the more technical weaknesses. Perhaps it's my nostalgia for not-so-guilty pleasures like "Generation X," but I expected more from writer Scott Lodbell, so I can't let him totally off the hook. Too often he uses poor dialogue and odd narration to tell the reader things that are already apparent in the art, making you want to hurry along to the next page to find something that remotely resembles real interaction.

And while the penciling by Michael Gaydos is technically very good and the coloring is appropriate for the scenes, his work in this issue is uninspired.

Still, it is refreshing to see IDW refrain from using Hewitt's most appealing assets:

(Yes, I read the Ghost . . . something'a'boob.)

And even:

(A jacket? No, thank you. This scarf is doing everything I need it to do.)

Ultimately, I'm left wondering why.

Of course I know that literally, every single movie she's ever made has been, well, just fantastic. And that music comes as naturally to her as a peacock. But why comics?

Actually, I think that sums up almost everyone I've seen pick up the issue at comic shops: Why?