October is finally upon is, and here at ComicsAlliance, and one of the best parts of the month is gearing up for Halloween with costumes! It’s the one time of year when even people like me who could never cut it in our Best Cosplay Ever feature can drop by the local department store and walk out with the ability to dress up as our favorite characters.

But is that really a good thing? I have my doubts, which is why I’m spending every day taking on the store-bought costumes inspired by our favorite things. Today, we're dousing ourselves in ooze and handling unlicensed pets as we look at Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles costumes!

Option 1: Deluxe Leonardo




As someone who grew up during the first wave of TMNT popularity and had to deal with costumes that were basically a pillow belted to your back, itchy green facepaint slathered on underneath a navy blue bandana, a green sweatshirt and a ruler wrapped in aluminum foil, you might think I'd be bitter about what modern costume technology has done for these kids today who already have it easy with their iPhones and hula hoops, but I'm not! I mean, I am bitter, just not about this. Instead, I'm actually pretty heartened by how they've gone the extra mile to capture the look of the new cartoon. I mean, yeah, those plastic masks still aren't all that great, but they got those weird little cartoon cankle feet, and that's about 90 percent of what I love about those designs.


Option 2: Deluxe The Shredder




On the other hand, having a cheap, reasonably on-model costume also means that kids these days don't have a good excuse to duct-tape steak knives to their forearms in the name of accuracy.


Option 3: Baby Raphael Costume




I never thought I'd say this, but that baby looks both cool and rude.

What jumps out at me about this one, though, is the belt. Most of these costumes don't come with accessories, but this belt clearly has the straps meant to hold Raphael's sai, implying that you are mean to supply your own ninja weapons to a baby. This is going to work out pretty well, I think.


Option 4: Geisha Donatello




Ah, Halloween, when all of our cultures cussed up gender issues are right there next to the candy aisle. There's a lot of problematic stuff going on here, not the least of which being that there's a "teen" version of this costume that I'm not including because I'm pretty sure I'd be arrested as soon as I right-clicked on it, and moving right towards the bizarre geisha/ninja equivalency at work here.

The worst part, though, is that there's really no way to wear this without some drunken jackass in a cardboard box "robot" costume asking you if you "do machines," but to be fair, that's not really the costume's fault.