A new Avengers: Age Of Ultron trailer was released on Monday night during the sport, and we shared it with you on the site already, but sometimes it's not enough to just watch a commercial for a movie you're definitely going to go see anyway. Just watching it means it washes over you, and all you absorb is a general sense of how excited you should be about this movie that you're absolutely guaranteed to watch on opening weekend. You don't get to dig deep into the minutiae of every flickering second.
So we downloaded some kind of screencapping software, scrubbed off most of the malware that came with it, and set to work slicing 100 seconds of footage into tiny slivers of information. And then we stared at that information. And then we wrote down whatever came into our heads. Because passively watching a trailer just isn't enough anymore. To really know if you want to watch this movie that you probably already booked your tickets for, you have to live the trailer.
Here we see Hawkeye leading some people away from the Hulk or Ultron or Thanos or Andy Serkis into a... well, it looks like a miniature helicarrier, like the ones they were selling at San Diego Comic-Con a couple of years ago. Those things were huge. I still have bruises from people lugging those things about.
Anyway, Hawkeye is in this picture somewhere. He's the one with the bow.
Here we see Ultron, or one of his Ultronbots, stalking the corridors of Avengers Mansion Tower. Now, you may be wondering where exactly the Ultronbot is in this image... and... uh...
Oh, hey, he's in the staircase. Top left. See? If you squint a bit, you can totally see him. I mean, it's a spiral staircase in front of some sort of shelf or vent or something, so it's not very clear, and also it's a bit dark, but if you just let your eyes fall slightly out of focus, you can see an Ultronbot, and a picture of the Taj Mahal.
Here's Scarlet Witch fighting an Iron Man-coloured Ultronbot. Or maybe Iron Man? In a room with a wheel on the wall? A boat?
Scarlet Witch isn't in this screencap. She was on the screen a second before, but I hit the button a bit late and I missed it.
This was meant to be something else as well. Uh... but that's the day the movie comes out. That's actually pretty soon. I think I was trying to screencap Nick Fury?
Crap, why did I screencap this? Um... these cops are... fighting... Hulk? Or running away from Hulk? Ultron? There's a sign in the background that says 'Nyama & Chips'. That's a restaurant chain in Johannesburg; Nyama is a type of grilled meat, a bit like shawarma. This is the sort of Easter egg that other websites just don't share.
'Chips' are French fries.
I'm beginning to wonder if maybe I'm not very good at screencapping. I can't even work out where the black bars are to crop this one. This is... a woman's face. Black Widow, or Scarlet Witch. You can see the outline of her nose and brow, right in the middle.
Black Widow and/or Scarlet Witch is in this movie, and will at some point be in a dark room.
Maybe Cloak is in this movie, and also Dagger?
Who were those stunt riders with the stars-and-stripes costumes? In Marvel Comics, I mean. I think they merged into some sort of biker-Voltron? That seems like a cool concept. Marvel should replace the X-Men with those guys.
This probably isn't one of them, is it? But biker-Voltron versus Spader-Ultron would be amazing.
What... why is the pause thingy there? How did that happen? What did I do wrong? How do I get rid of it? Ugh, this is the worst. This was meant to be a really awesome shot of the underside of Iron Man's boots. I was so excited to share that with you.
Team America! That's what those bikers were called!
Oh balls, that's the end of the trailer. I think I missed some stuff. There was this lady in a cave, and Thor being angry-hot, and a CGI Andy Serkis, played by a motion-capture Andy Serkis.
Um... but look at all the people who made this movie! Look how important Robert Downey Jr. is! And look, Stellan Skarsgard and Don Cheadle are also in this movie! That's nice. They're not in this trailer, but they're in this movie!
We learned a lot about Avengers: Age Of Ultron today. You'll probably go and see it now.