Bird on the Street: Five Scoops From Birds of Prey [Spoilers]

The girls are back in town with yesterday's relaunch of "Birds of Prey" #1 by Gail Simone, and as usual they're making headlines. Sure, you can get the big stories anywhere, but God and gossip are in the details, and only we here at Bird on the Street have all of those.

So what really went on in Gotham last night? Check out these blind items for the scoop. Our sources confirm some highly unusual, and scandalous, cape activity.

Sure, the newspapers are praising the Icelandic government and rescue helicopter teams for their 'efforts' to rescue a kidnapped child late last night, but whose efforts really succeeded? It seems two heroes were in the lobby of the hospital that treated the young girl, talking very loudly about how they didn't want 'star treatment' for saving a kid.

Nice try, ladies. They could hear you at The Planet.

The two blonde heroes stayed long enough to show off their new oPhone, before leaving the hospital, the city and the country at a run. We'd take bets on which well-known web celeb stopped them from getting the 'star treatment' they were so clearly fishing for, but no one's dumb enough to bet against Big O.

Let's leave the passive and move into the aggressive. After nearly painting the town red with the blood of cheerleaders, albeit violent, gun-wielding cheerleaders, a newly-reborn hero went bar-hopping and tab-skipping. Molly's Bar no longer welcomes capes, despite the owner reportedly being very friendly with them, because of a bar tab dispute. It seems someone went there to quench all kinds of thirsts, and then declined to pick up the check. Looks like Gotham City is getting another super-angry, snarling, perp-dangling, word-gritting, Batman-wannabe.

This reporter has to ask, why can't any of them be like the Batman who dressed in blue and waved hello to pimps? We'd even take the one who drew eyebrows on his cowl. Lay off grumpy, fellas, we're all stocked up here.

Especially since one of Gotham's grumpiest heroines left an emotional rooftop meeting with mascara streaks on her face. (Don't worry, gentlemen, her abs were as flawless as ever. And she's back to the costume that showed them off.) Was the news good or bad? Sources were too far away to lip-read.

And finally . . .

No, seriously. Who was that? All the women in this, ahem, town look the same.



Got any scoops we missed? What did you take away from the new "Birds of Prey"?