Welcome to Cast Party, a new feature that imagines a world with even more live action adaptations of our favorite comic books than we currently have, and comes up with arguably the best casting suggestions you're ever going to find for the movies and shows we wish could exist.
I’m not too worried about tying this non-existent movie into the DC Cinematic Universe, but so far there's only been a rumor that Barbara Gordon might appear in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, so maybe this proposed movie won’t contradict anything.
As much as I’d love to include Papa Gordon and Livewire in this cast, the first Burnside storyline is more than enough for one picture, so I’m sticking with that. For director, my choice is April Mullen, who made the little seen but very stylish action film 88. Stylish action is the order of the day here.
Emma Stone as Barbara Gordon/Batgirl
She’s a big enough star to open a superhero movie (in fact she was many viewers’ favorite part of the last two Spider-Mans). She’s got the perfect ginger look, and the right sort of attitude. She also has the acting chops to [SPOILERS] also play the surprise villain at the end of the film, and have an onscreen confrontation between her physical and digital selves.
Samira Wiley as Frankie
Ever since watching Orange is the New Black, I’ve wanted to see more of Wiley. After spending so much time with her in prison clothes, it’ll be fun to let her be fashion forward.
Geena Rocero as Alysia
Rocero is a model and transgender activist, and I like to think she would jump at the chance to make her acting debut bringing a groundbreaking character like Alysia to the screen.
Natalie Dormer as Black Canary
I’m not sure how men feel about Dormer, but every woman I know is in love with her, regardless of sexuality. I’m pretty sure that’s just true of Dinah. (Just ask Barbara). Obviously, she’s getting a spin-off. Watch this space for that cast before too long.
Riff Raff as Riot Black
Riff Raff got annoyed when James Franco played a character who was clearly based on him in Spring Breakers. So this time we’ll let him do it himself.
Hugh Dancy as Jeremy
Scruffy handsome young professorial type? Dancy already basically did that on Hannibal, but this time there will be much less art-murder.
Golshifteh Farahani as Nadimah
Farahani is an up-and-coming multi-lingual Iranian actress. My casting her as Nadimah is not related to the hijab she’s wearing in this still from About Elly, but it is convenient that we already know how good she looks in one.
Rami Malek as Qadir
A little more hair and a little less twitchiness, and the star of Mr. Robot becomes a perfect Qadir.
John Krasinski as Liam
In the comic, I found Liam much less likable than I think he was supposed to, so I’m trying to make up for that by casting the most likable age-appropriate white guy I can think of.
Mike Hadreas as Dagger Type
Hadreas is better known as the ultra-queer musician Perfume Genius. My hope is that by emphasizing his constant gender-noncomformity (and tweaking the writing), we can lessen some of the problems that came up when Dagger dressed as Batgirl.