Welcome to Cast Party, the feature that imagines a world with even more live action comic book adaptations than we currently have, and comes up with arguably the best casting suggestions you’re ever going to find for the movies and shows we wish could exist.
This is the story of Batman and Superman going back to the 1700s to investigate why there was a guy back then who looked exactly like Batman. Along the way they interrupt a witch hunt, Batman nearly gets burned at the stake, and Superman says, "The 'S' is for Shakespeare!" more than once. I'm telling you, this story has cinema written all over it.
This is a dual role, because of course Batman had an identical ancestor in the 18th Century, Revolutionary War hero "Mad" Anthony Wayne. Oscar Isaac should pretty much be in everything, I think we can all agree, and he's certainly handsome enough to be Bruce Wayne.
Jamie Dornan as Superman
"Oh no, not that guy," you may be saying, but that's exactly what the population of Colonial New England will be saying too, since Superman spends half this story possessed by a demon and the other half acting like a jerk for weird Silver Age reasons. And you have to admit he has the look.
Maika Monroe as Sylvia
Monroe's breakthrough role was as a girl hunted by a supernatural force in It Follows. The desperation she displayed there will come in handy in playing an innocent Colonial girl accused of witchcraft. Plus she gets to yell at Superman.
Bill Nighy as the Witchfinder
It's a small role, but it should be chilling and Conquerer Worm-esque. Nighy has exactly the face you want for that sort of thing.
John Goodman as Benjamin Franklin
Franklin's just a cameo, so I wanted a recognizable face. The idea of Goodman in a wig tying a key to a kite string already amuses me, and I think he'd have a great time doing it.
Natasha Leggero as the Barmaid
There's not much to this part; she pretty much just screams accusations. But I know Leggero, co-creator of Another Period, can make it funny.
Iain Glenn as General Henley
Clean up his scruff and dress him in red, and Game of Thrones' Jorah Mormont will make a perfect British officer.
Jonathan Morgan Heit as Robbie/Robin
Did you know that Mad Anthony Wayne had a teenage sidekick who looked exactly like Robin? History may have forgotten, but Silver Age DC Comics remembers. We'll probably add Heit as Robin to the opening and closing scenes of the movie, to drive the resemblance home.
Salem as the Talking Black Cat
I don't know where Salem has been since Sabrina the Teenage Witch ended, but being magical I assume he's still alive, and you have to admit he's the only clear choice for this part.