Welcome to Cast Party, the feature that imagines a world with even more live action comic book adaptations than we currently have, and comes up with arguably the best casting suggestions you’re ever going to find for the movies and shows we wish could exist. Today, by popular demand, we're imagining a film based on Marvel's Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, the recently relaunched series by Ryan North and Erica Henderson.
This film will demand a good balance of action and comedy. Director Paul Feig will bring that to the table, along with a level of comfort with competent female action heroes that few in Hollywood share.
One thing I know for certain is that the movie should start exactly like the first volume of the comic, with Squirrel Girl singing her own theme song to herself while effortlessly taking down some crooks. From there it should follow her to college, and the friends and enemies she finds along the way. It may be a little episodic, but if the pacing and humor are on point, I think it can work.
And yes, I realize Marvel probably doesn't have the rights to Galactus, but this movie is imaginary anyway, so I included him because he really should be there.
Mae Whitman as Squirrel Girl
Yes, her. Whitman has proven her comedic skills in a variety of projects, and she got to do comic book fight scenes in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. She also might be the only young actress in Hollywood with the right look for this part.
Cree Summer as the voice of Tippy-Toe
Summer is one of the great voice actors of all time, and an adorable squirrel is right up her alley.
Vicky Jeudy as Nancy
Jeudy's character in Orange is the New Black starts out with the same standoffishness as Nancy, but playing Nancy will give her the opportunity to warm up a little more, given that she's not in prison.
Eugene Hutz as Kraven the Hunter
Mustachioed Eastern European dirtbag? Actor and punk rocker Hutz specializes in that sort of thing.
Peter Dinklage as Galactus
I'm not going to pretend I don't see the irony in casting Dinklage as a giant, but I also don't mean it as a joke. I figure Galactus' size is a special effect anyway, so all you need is someone with an appropriate face and killer voice, both of which Dinklage totally has.
Bull Dempsey as Hippo the Hippo
You've probably noticed by now that I like to include a wrestler in these casts when I can, but it's seriously never been more appropriate than this.
Tyler Posey as Chipmunk Hunk
Posey has experience playing a guy with an animalistic side. He just needs to recalibrate from Teen Wolf to Collegiate Chipmunk.
Ki Hong Lee as Koi Boi
For a guy named after fish that barely move, Koi Boi is a surprisingly competent superhero, and Lee brings action bona fides from the Maze Runner series.
Kristen Schaal as the voice of Girl Squirrel
Girl Squirrel starts out cute and becomes pretty scary. Schaal has a particular skill for balancing the two.
Becky Ann Baker as Maureen Green
Who better to play Squirrel Girl's mom than quintessential mom Baker, who previously mommed it up on Freaks and Geeks and Girls?