If you are a jaded, bitter superhero reader like we are here at ComicsAlliance, America's Grumpiest Comic Book News Site™, then you probably respond with announcements of variant covers with an eyeroll and a noncommittal grunt, and may even go as far as to say "Variants! Bah!" out loud to an empty room full of action figures. That's what we usually do, but not today, friends and neighbors. Not today.

Because today, DC Comics announced that most of the cape (and one He-Man) comic they publish in December is going to have a "widescreen" variant by Darwyn Cooke, and holy cats, they are some of the most beautiful DC superhero pictures we have ever seen. The fold-out covers find Cooke's clean-line, retro superhero style in full effect, depicting variously action packed, funny and tender scenes from a DC Universe that, sadly, doesn't really exist. It's a look and vision for which Cooke's become famous, and which was demonstrated most popularly in DC: The New Frontier, The Spirit, and later, considerably less popularly, in Before Watchmen: Minutemen. More recently, Cooke's been employing a grittier and more authentically vintage approach in his hugely acclaimed Parker graphic novels, adapted from the crime books of Richard Stark, but he continued to work with the DC icons with covers for Batwing, Justice League and All-Star Western -- the finale of which he illustrated from cover to cover.

Collected here are all 23 covers Cooke has created for DC's December variant scheme. Click below to launch the gallery viewer --  just kidding, we don't hate you! (most of you)

 

Widescreen variant by Darwyn Cooke
Batman & Robin #37 - Click for full size
loading...

 

Widescreen variant by Darwyn Cooke
Green Lantern Corps #37 - Click for full size
loading...

 

Widescreen variant by Darwyn Cooke
Supergirl #37 - Click for full size
loading...

 

Widescreen variant by Darwyn Cooke
Justice League United #7 - Click for full size
loading...

 

Widescreen variant by Darwyn Cooke
Grayson #5 - Click for full size
loading...

 

Widescreen variant by Darwyn Cooke
Harley Quinn #12 - Click for full size
loading...

 

Widescreen variant by Darwyn Cooke
Superman #37 - Click for full size
loading...

 

Widescreen variant by Darwyn Cooke
Teen Titans #5 - Click for full size
loading...

 

Widescreen variant by Darwyn Cooke
Catwoman #37 - Click for full size
loading...

 

Widescreen variant by Darwyn Cooke
Green Lantern #37 - Click for full size
loading...

 

Widescreen variant by Darwyn Cooke
Sinestro #8 - Click for full size
loading...

 

Widescreen variant by Darwyn Cooke
Wonder Woman #37 - Click for full size
loading...

 

Widescreen variant by Darwyn Cooke
Batgirl #37 - click to enlarge
loading...

 

Widescreen variant by Darwyn Cooke
Batman #37 - Click for full size
loading...

 

Widescreen variant by Darwyn Cooke
Batman/Superman #17 - Click for full size
loading...

 

Widescreen variant by Darwyn Cooke
Flash #37 - Click for full size
loading...

 

Widescreen variant by Darwyn Cooke
Justice League #37 - Click for full size
loading...

 

Widescreen variant by Darwyn Cooke
Aquaman #37- Click for full size
loading...

 

Widescreen variant by Darwyn Cooke
He-Man: The Eternity War #1 - Click for full size
loading...

 

Detective Comics #37 - click to enlarge
Detective Comics #37 - click to enlarge
loading...

 

Justice League Dark #37 - click to enlarge
Justice League Dark #37 - click to enlarge
loading...

 

Superman/Wonder Woman #14 - click to enlarge
Superman/Wonder Woman #14 - click to enlarge
loading...

 

 

 

Images via Newsarama, IGN, CBR, ComicVine, Hitfix, Yahoo News and other sites that DC likes more than us :(