Nothing Can Prepare You For The Archie Video Game [Video]

Archie Andrews has had his hands full lately traveling between potential futures where he's alternately married to either Betty or Veronica, but back here in the present day Riverdale's first son could be making an even bigger leap into his first full video game adventure...

...which looks like a complete disaster.

Announced back in 2008 by FXLabs, "Archie's Riverdale Run" has yet to recieve a proper release date. Judging by its trailer (which you can watch after the jump depending on your pain tolerance), there might be a reason.

Billed as a driving and adventure game, the trailer demonstrates Archie's bold walking prowess as he roams a sickeningly harmless Riverdale to the upbeat stylings of a band that, well, you'd only hear in an Archie video game trailer. Between gameplay bits there appear to be quasi motion comic cutscenes modeled after "Reading Rainbow" style animation (complete with Comic Sans font!) as well as 3-D rendered high school dance montages circa '98.

I admittedly have an irrational fondness for Archie and his pals, but I'm not 100 percent certain kids will flock to a game where one of the highlights is mowing dad's lawn. But hey, who can keep up with the youth of today? Maybe mailbox baseball and fun video games have finally fallen out of favor.

This could be the game that topples "Grand Theft Auto" franchise, friends. Amirite?

Either way, expect a full review once the game hits stores...