The Comics Alliance Halloween Costume Countdown: The Avengers

Halloween is just around the corner, and here at ComicsAlliance, and one of the best parts of the month is gearing up for a night of costumes! It’s the one time of year when even people like me who could never cut it in our Best Cosplay Ever feature can drop by the local department store and walk out with the ability to dress up as our favorite characters.

But is that really a good thing? I have my doubts, which is why I’m spending every day taking on the store-bought costumes inspired by our favorite things. Today, it's the stars of last year's biggest movie in the history of everything, The Avengers!

Option 1: Deluxe Black Widow

If you've gone through as many Halloween costumes over the past month as I have, you might be thoroughly shocked to discover that there's no official "Sexy Sassy" version of Black Widow available for purchase. Apparently a skintight black catsuit is both sexy and sassy enough for everyone, even if that super high-waisted belt gives it the appearance of something your mom might wear to fight the Skrulls.

It should be noted that this costume does include the "Widow's Bite" wrist gauntlets, but you will have to supply your own script full of unforgettably lousy dialogue about "red in my ledger."

Option 2: Girls' Thor Costume

Thor, however, did not escape the annual sexification, although given how many other Jack Kirby creations are prone to rocking miniskirts (Darkseid, Hercules, etc), I'd almost believe this one was ripped straight from a comic that I just haven't read. I like those furry gloves a heck of a lot more than that pajama-lookin' armor he was wearing for a couple years.

Option 3: Toddler Hulk

I realize that there's a limited amount of what you can do when you're making a costume for a three year-old, but since when does the Hulk rock Jerry Only's haircut? Don't get me wrong, though, I'm not opposed to this idea at all. In fact, I hope the Misfits (not the ones fromJem) become the prevailing fashion icons for everyone with a toddler. Just hella little babies running around talking about how they want your skulls.

Option 4: Baby Captain America

I think we all liked that Captain America movie pretty well, but imagine how much better it would've been if skinny CGI Chris Evans went into the little chamber where they gave him the Super Soldier Serum, and then they opened the door after to reveal this little guy, costume and all. It would've been adorable.

Especially when they started just throwing this baby, tiny little fists-first, at Nazis. I'd buy that movie eight times.

Option 5: Muscle Chest Captain America

If Rob Liefeld doesn't wear this every Halloween, then there is something deeply wrong with this world we live in.