The Less Fictional War on Christmas
“The Seal Men's War on Santa Claus” was a story by Michael Fleischer and Jack Kirby originally intended to be run in 1974's Sandman #7, but Sandman was canceled with #6, so then it was going to run as a framing sequence in Kamandi #61, but Kamandi was canceled before it could run. So the story originally saw print in the Canceled Comics Cavalcade #2, before finally seeing wide release in a DC Christmas Special digest in 1981.
The story is this: due to a dare, young Jed is sent out into the Christmas Eve snow to try to collect one million dollars from a miserly recluse for charity. The miser agrees to give Jed the money if he can prove Santa Claus exists. Fortunately, Jed has a magic whistle that summons the Sandman, Master of Dreams, who is pretty close with St. Nick. Unfortunately, when they get to the North Pole, they find Santa has been kidnapped by an army of Seal Men. Why are they angry? Because Santa accidentally gave them gloves for Christmas last year, and seals don't have any dang old fingers, obviously. There is also a subplot about an unscrupulous heir who is nearly eaten by a wizard's Venus flytrap and who kidnaps Mrs. Claus. Literally do not understand why Neil Gaiman thought he needed to go back to the drawing board on this concept.