12 Days of Christmas, Day 5: Jeff Parker
It's the fifth day of Christmas at ComicsAlliance in our 12 Days of Christmas original art series! Every day until the 25th, we'll be posting new illustrations from comics creators at Periscope Studio that reinterpret the days of the Christmas carol as comics parodies.
Today Jeff Parker is on the job, with a retcon of five golden rings that I am henceforth going to think about every single time I sing this song. Pro tip: If you're looking for jewelry to give your sweetheart on Christmas, do not steal it from the Mandarin. He will punch you in the face so hard, even if your face is made of iron. Especially if your face is made of iron. Also, it's a pretty dick move to try and swipe the rings of some guy who only has ten when you could easily fill up a Scrooge McDuck money bin with golden rings and swim around in it like Esther Williams, lording your wealth over everyone. Stealing the most precious possessions of those who have less than you is a pretty Scroogey thing to do at Christmastime, Tony. Maybe next you can incinerate Tiny Tim with a repulsor ray.
Jeff Parker! is best known for being awesome, and also writing very good Marvel comics like "X-Men: First Class," "Agents of Atlas," "The Age of Sentry," "Mysterius the Unfathomable," and "Thunderbolts." And "Underground," his creator-owned murder/spelunking comic with Steve Lieber (who will be joining us on Day 7).
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Five power riiiiiiings
Four Calling Birds
Three French Hens
Two Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtledoves
And a "partridge" in a pear tree.