Last week, Jiaying (Dichen Lachman) shot herself to try to motivate her people to turn on SHIELD. This week she shoots her house. More accurately,, she has Gordon (Jamie Harris) do it with a stolen Quinjet. It's pretty convincing for the Inhumans, but not so much for SHIELD, who are able to work out that they lost a Quinjet. They're getting smarter. So after a brief tussle between Skye (Chloe Bennett) and May (Ming-Na Wen) that ends in a fault — Skye uses her Quake powers to take May down — the two teams return to their respective benches to decide what to do next.
Skye seems to have chosen a side, freaks before geeks, but she has her doubts, so she asks Raina (Ruth Negga) what's going to happen next. Raina basically straight up says, "Your mom is lying about everything, and I'm going to sacrifice myself to prove it," but Skye is all, "Ugh, your riddles are too hard," and stomps out.
Later, Raina confronts Jiaying, so Jiaying murders her (once you pop you just can't stop), and Skye happens to see it, and is all, "Oohhh, now I get it." But it's too late. Mom takes Skye prisoner and drags her along (for reasons that seem more plot-convenient than plausible) as her team infiltrates the SHIELD boatycarrier, first to seize control of the Kree gloop in the hold, and second to lure out all remaining SHIELD agents (Patton Oswalt) and dose them with terrigen crystals. Convert or die! (But you don't get to pick.)
PS. Jiaying has actually been murdering fools for years, as sucking the life out of people is how she heals. The More You Know. (She's not Selene, because Marvel doesn't have the rights to Selene, but she kind of is Selene.)
Meanwhile, Cal (Kyle MacLachlan) is in SHIELD custody, and even though SHIELD knows that he took a triple dose of Super Psycho Serum (mint flavor), they decide that having him on-site is just fine. What's he going to do? Use super-powers to break out? Ha ha ha, there's no such thing as...
So, he uses super powers to break out and distract the agents while Jiaying seizes the ship. Coulson (Clark Gregg) pins Cal to a wall with a car, and tells him, "If you really loved our daughter, you'd stop all this madness," and somehow that works, and Cal joins Team 'Human' on their mission to take back the boatycarrier.
While all this is going on, Bobbi (Adrianne Palicki) is being tortured by Ward (Brett Dalton) and 33 (Maya Stojan). Partly they torture her by sticking needles in her fingernails; partly they torture her by talking about how in love they are. It's cruel. Bobbi almost escapes, but in the end it's up to May and Hunter (Nick Blood) to come to the rescue. Unfortunately, Ward booby-trapped Bobbi's room (Bobbi-trapped?), so Bobbi has to lurch in front of a bullet to prevent Hunter's enviable cheekbones being blown off. Poor kicked-around Agent 33 also gets shot (to death) by Ward, after May tricks her into assuming her identity one! last! time!
On the boatycarrier, Mack (Henry Simmons) is having a little Die Hard moment, the only free man on a ship overrun by Inhoomz. He's armed with an axe, and we see it enough times to know that it will be Important later on. Mack rescues Skye, and Skye convinces Lincoln (Luke Mitchell) to switch sides, because he saw Jiaying terri-kill-isis a bunch of Hoomz, including that one SHIELD guy who looks like Orson Welles and whho doesn't get many lines.
Among the Inhumans is a woman who can create unlimited duplicates of herself (Alicia Vela-Bailey). Yes, she is the Multiple Man, but a woman, and also Marvel doesn't have the rights to Multiple Man, so she definitely isn't that either. Let's call her Multicia. Fun fact: The actor is also Bobbi's stunt double, which is why her high-kicks are so persuasive. (There is another super-powered Inhuman wandering around, a guy with super-strength, plus Gordon and Linc, of course, but surprisingly that seems to be about it for super-Inhumans.)
Much fighting ensues. Much confronting happens. There are two major bouts. First, Mack has to prevent Gordon from opening a crate of crystals by a ventilation shaft, which will get every human on board fatally stoned. Mack is eventually assisted by Coulson and Fitz (Iain DeCaestecker), and it's Fitz who manages to be in the right place at the right time to put a chunk of wood through Gordon's chest. Gordon dies, and drops a crystal from his hand. Coulson leaps (rather slowly, honestly) to catch it.
Coulson starts to turn to stone, and Mack... chops off his arm with Chekhov's axe.
The second big fight is a mother/daughter Bechdelian throwdown (two named women fighting about something other than a man), as Skye tries to stop her mom taking a bunch of crystals onto a Quinjet to 'change' the world. Jiaying has had enough of her daughter, and it turns out she's not a great mom; she tries to suck the life out of Skye. Skye retaliates by quaking the Quinjet and its cargo into the ocean, and Cal steps in to break his wife's back with the last of his super-strength.
Once all the dust is settled (bye, Coulson's hand!), the team rebuilds. Coulson is one-armed and considering, 'Can I pull off that Winter Soldier look but without the eye make-up and the sexy pouting?", May is taking a vaycay, Bobbi is in recovery and contemplating having a spin-off show (spoiler alert: she'll decide against it); Mack's back, baby; and Andrew the psychiatrist (Blair Underwood) makes recommendations for the next iteration of the team, which will include super-powered secret warriors.
As for the surviving villains; Ward is rebuilding HYDRA with a bunch of skinhead biker toughs, and Cal is building a veterinary practice after having his mind wiped by the TAHITI process. Well, it's what the families of his murder victims would have wanted, after all.
In the first of two kickers, we learn that no-one bothered to recover the terrigenesis crystals that fell to the bottom of the ocean, so they seep into the fish, and the fish find their way into fish oil capsules, so a lot of people are going to either die or get superpowers next season.
In the second kicker, Fitz summons the courage to ask Simmons (Elizabeth Henstridge) out for dinner. I actually can't remember what she said; it doesn't matter. Moments after he leaves the room, the Kree goo collapses, sucks her into its depths, and reforms into a placid monolith. Bye, Gemma!