G.I. Joe Celebrates The Solstice With A Pink Tentacle Monster
For those of you who don't keep up with astronomical milestones, today is The Winter Solstice! It's the longest night of the year, and it's an event that's influenced winter celebrations in cultures all across the world. In ancient Rome, for instance, it gave rise to Saturnalia and the tradition of exchanging presents in the middle of winter that continues to this day. And in Scotland, it's a time to get together with your family to honor the hot pink Cthulhu monster that lives in your basement with a human sacrifice. Or at least, that's what I've learned from watching G.I. Joe. Okay, okay, so maybe that particular tradition is limited solely to one James McCullen XXIV, better known to America's daring, highly trained special missions force as Cobra's resident international arms dealer, Destro. Then again, considering that the only other major fact I know about Scotland is that there's a secret castle for teen wizards somewhere up there, it seems pretty plausible that this just some local custom.