We've known for a while that the upcoming The Amazing Spider-Man 2 was going to feature Electro, the Rhino and the Green Goblin, but I think I speak for all true fans of the web-slinger when I say that we've been waiting for months for the answer to a far more important question. Sure, Spidey's going to fight super-villains, but will he also be confronted with a horrifyingly misshapen baby version of himself that he will inexplicably battle via dance-off?

Well, now we know: Yes. Yes he does. I mean, it might not happen in the movie, but it's definitely what happens in an ad for Evian bottled water, which is somehow even stranger. Watch and be mystified below.



Okay, let's unpack this for a minute. I'm perfectly willing to accept Spider-Man as an advertising pitchman, even if it's a little weird to see him shilling for the Postal Service. But this? Man, I don't even know what's going on here.

This is, I assume, part of a larger campaign that may or may not also involve moonwalking babies, but since I don't know a thing about that, I'm forced to look at it from the perspective of the comics, and in those things, if you see a dang weird-ass baby reflection of yourself, you do not engage in a dance-off. You call up Dr. Strange toute de suite, and see if there are hella Dormammu problems in the mirror dimension. No matter how hot your moonwalk is, being pulled into a twisted reflection of a world gone mad and made to suffer is, like, the least horrifying outcome of this entire situation.

If only Spider-Man, known for his athletic style of moving through the city and his tough fistfights with villains, had some other thing that would make him thirsty for a bottle of water.

If only. If. Only.


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