Despite the best efforts of the mainstream greeting card industry, there are some situations just too specific - or insane - to properly cater to. Since the world of superhero stories is largely shaped by such scenarios, it's up to fans to craft just the right message for the hero or villain in need of a little one-dimensional attention. David Wolkin and CA contributor Rusty Shackles hopped to it over at Wolkin's House of Chicken and Waffles and Comics and the results are nothing short of wonderfully offensive.

Tapping into the power of's powerful comedy-generating sorcery, Wolkin produced messages of hope for the Scarlet Witch, Arsenal, Mary Jane Watson and more. Shackles joined the fray in Wolkin's comments section, contributing a few of his own spirited words of encouragement for comic book characters we all know could use a friend.

Check them out after the jump before you head to Wolkin's blog for further analysis.